I didn’t listen.
I apologize for not being able to fit into a small box of the status quo, nor could I fit through your narrow window of acceptance in today’s standards of beauty in society. I apologize for not being able to tell you I spent four hours straightening my curls to fit your definition of cool.
I realize I couldn’t follow through with it; it takes a piece of myself with every flattened strand. I apologize that some of you don’t find curls flattering, and when you do, it’s a month long trend on a social media app, before you unknowingly go back to judging me for being different; for being unique.
I apologize for letting myself listen to the words you spoke, the backhanded compliments you so willingly gave. Telling me I looked much prettier with it straight than natural, that my appearance has changed for the better. When you told me bedhead was the new look, even when I had showered that very same morning. I’m sorry that you weren’t able to realize how far under my skin that went. How hard it was for me to grow, and bloom as free as the wild hair that thrives on the top of my head.
I apologize for feeling the need to write this article, that it was so important to remind everyone to understand the words they speak, the people they shape; I don’t, however, apologize for the hair I was absolutely blessed with.
I apologize that you have to now, years later, watch me become more confident than I ever was; wearing the hair I have as a curly crown on the top of my beautiful head. I apologize if my self-love is too much for you now that I can’t be torn down for being who I truly am. I apologize if that makes you uncomfortable, negativity is no longer taking up any more time in my day.
I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, lastly apologize to myself, for not realizing the true beauty in the difference, and embracing it with everything I got.