1. Why does Miley Cyrus have a boyfriend and I don’t?
2. I wish I lived in a world where consuming ungodly amounts of sugar made you more attractive.
3. I bet Taylor Swift never spends Valentine’s Day alone.
4. Is it weird that I think Justin Bieber was hotter as a thirteen-year-old?
5. I wonder if lowering my standards would help.
6. Jk. If they were any lower, I’d be dating Mr. Bean.
7. Am I too young to sign up for eHarmony?
8. Maybe I should audition for The Bachelor.
9. Wait, my mouth isn’t big enough.
10. Does being socially awkward make me more or less attractive?
11. Maybe I should try wearing more makeup.
12. What’s the best movie to distract me from my pathetic loneliness?
13. I need a better outlet for my anger.
14. Wait a minute. I have friends.
15. At least I don’t have to be lonely by myself.