In a family of seven, there is never a dull moment, especially as the oldest of five children. There are ups and downs to being the oldest, and I have realized how it has shaped me as an individual. However, this does not just include being the oldest. I believe any place in the birth order greatly affects who someone is.
As the oldest, I have experienced everything first which means everything is new, regulations are stricter, and there are always rules set in place by my parents. For instance, when I first started driving, my curfew to be back home was 9:00 pm. However, when my younger sister started driving, there was not even a set curfew. I also have to be an example for my younger siblings, and when something goes wrong I usually get the blame. The oldest child is automatically the leader, and I think we all feel the need to assert dominance and somehow mature faster because that is what is expected of us. I was always the one to try hard to get good grades in school and graduate with honors, which has impacted my siblings because now my parents expect them to do the same. I was also the first one of the kids to learn that Santa was not real, hear about the family drama, and have adult conversations, causing me to feel the need to act older and use bigger words to sound older. When I was old enough to watch my four younger siblings and my parents didn’t have to get a babysitter, I took on the role of the parent. Recently, we had a discussion regarding the will, and if I would be willing to be the official guardian for my siblings if anything were to happen to my parents.Â
As you can see, there is a lot of responsibility that comes with being the first child, some good and some bad. I am not hating on my parents or throwing myself a pity party. I know they are also experiencing everything for the first time although, it is proven that being the first can be difficult.
However, there are some perks. Being first in the line-up has taught me how to be more independent and grow as my own person. As the oldest child, you are not as dependent on people as your younger siblings are. This is because the focus goes from the oldest sibling to the younger one who is assumed to need more attention, as the older one is assumed to be fine on their own. I have also realized I tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to things such as academics, which happens to be a common trait for the oldest child. Even though being a perfectionist may have a negative connotation, it helped me do well in school, get into a good college, and became a motivator for me. I have also learned perfectionism can correlate to the “oldest child syndrome,” which is the desire to overachieve, mainly from demanding, overprotective, or tentative parenting, which may be true for some. Along with these characteristics, the older child is goal-oriented, outspoken, assertive, and authoritative.
Ultimately, I have realized how crucial my birth order has been in terms of molding me as a person, and how different it would have been to be the youngest or middle child. By just interacting with each of my siblings, it is evident how impactful birth order is, and I also feel that parenting goes hand-in-hand with this as well. Compared to my youngest sibling, we both get parented very differently, which has affected how he responds to certain things and has helped to determine his personality traits.