Dear 18-Year-Old Me

Two years ago my life was noticeably different than it is now. Everything that has happened to me up until this point has impacted my life; it shaped me into the woman I am today. Some of the events were positive and some negative. Each person, event, memory has its place, some you try to forget and some you want to relive over and over again. The negatives give me perspective and perseverance; I have no regrets.

I’ve learned that there was some important advice I was never given before I entered adulthood (Oh, by the way, turning eighteen doesn’t make you an adult). In fact, I’ve learned that being on your own doesn’t mean that you can fully function on your own. We all like calling ourselves adults until we need to go to the dentist or doctors without mom making the appointment for you. Managing money, paying bills, applying for a job or even consulting a doctor isn’t something you learn in school.

Dear eighteen-year-old self, remember:

Go with your gut. Follow your intuition, it hasn’t failed you and it won’t fail you in the future. Just look, you’re still alive. Way to go you!

Seek Balance. Remember that your heart ‘knows’ things your mind can’t explain. I think we all know this. However, don’t follow your heart alone; emotions on their own can lead you astray. I’m not saying to be heartless or ‘stiff’; it’s all about balance. The heart holds your emotions and the mind holds your rational thought. The mind without heart is cold and the heart without intellect is emotion-gone-wild.

Believe in yourself. Spoiler alert: Don’t listen to your guidance counselor she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You do end up going to college! Unfortunately, there will always be detractors, so believe in yourself you have a bright future ahead.

Family is important. Thank your parents for all they’ve done for you. Like the time they handled all the logistics for your last move. There’s still nothing like eating Mom’s amazing cooking or going on a Saturday morning hike with Dad. And those siblings, sometimes you hang out, sometimes you fight; but you always love them. Remember, family means everything.

Choose your friends wisely. Good friends can be a blessing. Seek those who value you as a person. You may have many acquaintances but typically few that we can call true friends. The flip side is that we must learn to BE a good friend. Be trustworthy and faithful. Both of these qualities will serve you well in the future.

Slow down and enjoy life. Remember don’t try to live your whole life in these few college years. I know I said that but I need to make sure you understand. Life isn’t about going to crazy parties and getting drunk on weekends. Your best memories will come from hanging out with a few friends. Life is about the intimate cozy moments. Find cool museums. Take a long walk or go on a really long hike. I can promise that you won’t find yourself at the bottom of a bottle. You will find that experiencing the world around you is just as exhilarating as going to parties. In fact, it’s better. Don’t be afraid to do

things that scare the daylights out of you, remember fear is only a state of mind. Except for heights, they are real! God made me short for a reason. So stay close to the ground.

Be passionate about life. Motivation is contagious just like your smile, so smile often and brightly. Live life to it’s fullest. Whether you’re volunteering to serve meals to those less fortunate or helping someone carry groceries back to their car, remember that other people matter. Develop this habit early before life gets too complicated…people matter, relationships matter. Also, whatever you’re passionate about, give it your all. Don’t accept defeat…don’t quit…don’t give up…push on.

Learn to be content, even happy, alone. I’m not talking about being lonely, that’s no fun; I’m talking about accepting solitude. Importantly, being content with self keeps you from making bad relationship choices. Also, be comfortable with yourself, while at the same time being self-reflective. Self-reflection is key to being self aware, i.e. knowing who you are. Without this, you can never accurately assess your faults.

Remember you are not alone. This one is important and not at all contradictory to the last point. In the words of a famous song writer, “And remember there is someone up above.” Belief in God keeps you grounded, and provides reason and context. Even if that isn’t your cup of tea, my statement still rings true. Whether going through difficult times or just feeling like you need to talk, you are not alone. Pick up the phone, call home or talk to a friend. They are there for you more than you realize.

Congratulations, you’re about to accomplish things you’ve never dreamed possible. You’ve worked hard for it and you deserve it, good job! Be proud and don’t ever quit. Nobody gets to the finish line by stopping at the midpoint. In fact, this is just the beginning.

You are strong.

Keep dreaming.

Keep an open mind.

Laugh a little.

Love a lot.

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• personal
• tcu
• younger self