Growing up, when people asked me where I was from, it was usually in reference to my race. (If you’re a biracial or racially ambiguous individual reading this article, then I’m sure you can relate). The subtext of this question, and the frequency in which I would receive it, confused me for a very long time. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call asking someone’s nationality or lineage a microaggression, I don’t necessarily feel that the question is very conducive to getting to know me as a person. I think that Caucasians tend to overestimate the cultural differences between my family and theirs, while the Black community condemns me for being whitewashed due to the community that I grew up in. In the words of Eartha Kitt, “I’m not black enough to be considered black and I’m not white enough to be considered white.” Consequently, while I don’t find race questions offensive, I can find them frustrating. I’m Jamaican-Brazilian-Chinese (among other things), but I don’t satisfy certain preconceived notions that people have about any of those race groups, and even if I did, I don’t know that I would want to be pigeonholed into a racial stereotype. All that to say, if you’re going to ask me where I’m from, I would prefer that you ask that question with its literal connotation, to which I would reply that while I was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, I was raised in Florida.
Only, as this past semester in Fort Worth, Texas has taught me, being a Floridian comes with its own fair share of stereotypes and misconceptions. Additionally, since growing up in Florida actually did have a significant impact on my upbringing, I’m finding that some of these stereotypes are actually true, and because they’re true, they’re quite frankly hilarious. So, since we could all use a laugh every now and then, I’ve taken it upon myself to share, rank, and answer some of the craziest questions people have asked me about my home state. So, without further ado, here are the top ten questions that I have been asked about Florida.
#10: why did you leave?
Well, I wanted to move on to bigger and better things, and everything is bigger in Texas. In fact, Florida could fit into Texas four times, and the Westerns still uphold that there’s only room for one sheriff in this town!
#9: has it ever snowed?
Actually, as of January 2022…yes. I suppose you can thank global warming for that.
Generally, however, there isn’t any snow in Florida. But fear not! Despite a total lack of actual seasons, our weather is far from redundant. As the locals often say, if you don’t like the weather in Florida, don’t worry. It’ll change.
#8: how did you survive the hurricanes?
By skipping school.
On a more serious note, I am aware that hurricane season has absolutely devastated many communities over the years. If you live in an area that is susceptible to severe weather damage during hurricane season, then it is very important to prepare adequately, even if that means temporary evacuation.
For a good portion of Florida, though, hurricane season is little more than an excuse to stay home from work and watch television until the signal goes out. Many families even go so far as to host Hurricane Parties, complete with a cake modeled after the eye of the storm.
#7: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO DISNEYLAND?
Not to be that person, but, well, to be that person: Disneyland is in California. Disney World is in Florida.
Yes, I have been to Disney World (my mom actually used to work there, so of course, it was a family tradition for quite some time). However, as any Floridian worth their weight in oranges will tell you…Universal Studios is just better.
#6: does that mean you can’t drive?
According to Florida’s Division of Motorist Services, apparently I can. Now, if you ask a mailbox, a curb, a speedometer, or one of my siblings, you might get a different answer, but for my car insurance’s sake, we’re going to just stick with yes.
#5: DO YOU WORSHIP TRUMP?
You really thought that I was going to get political on the internet? I may be young, but my media training is better than that.
While I can’t speak for Florida as a whole, I only worship my lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I did, however, have classmates in middle school who regularly came to class with Donald Trump backpacks and Donald Trump-print socks. Additionally, the clock at one of the local pet stores where I grew up chimed “Make America Great Again” in an automated Donald Trump voice on the hour.
In short, every state has its politics, but I will say Florida is more open about its political standing than most, and there are certainly times when this can be very incendiary.
#4: are there alligators in your backyard?
Actually, yes. I’ve lived in multiple houses near a body of freshwater, and gators were always swimming around in the lake. In my experience, they’ve generally kept to themselves, but not all Floridians have been so lucky. Quite frequently, gators will set up shop in people’s swimming pools and need to be removed by professionals.
#3: aren’t you, like, the australia of the united states?
I know Florida has its fair share of flora and fauna, but c’mon now…Australia? That’s a bit much.
Yes, I am aware that a lot of the wildlife that I grew up around is somewhat disconcerting to the non-native. Tourists tend to find our surplus of frogs, lizards, and garden snakes particularly unnerving, but personally, with the exception of the invasive Bufo toads, I don’t find most of our wildlife that outlandish. Additionally, we can hardly be a parallel Australia without a parallel Robert Irwin, so I’m going to have to say no.
On the upside, my experience with reptilian wrangling has been super helpful in relocating baby geckos from my residence hall’s bathroom back into the wild. (The trick is not to grab them by their tails, as their tail will detach as an escape mechanism. Additionally, baby geckos are relatively harmless, so there really isn’t anything to be afraid of.)
#2: Are florida men real?
I wish I could tell you no, but they absolutely are. For those unfamiliar with the Florida Man trend, essentially, if you look up your birth date followed by “Florida Man,” you’ll get the gist of the problem.
#1: I’m sorry.
This one isn’t necessarily a question, but I do think it’s a pretty funny response to get when you tell people where you’re from.
This response also doesn’t make a lot of sense, as I truly believe that God puts us in the state and family that we’re supposed to grow up in for a reason. Yes, it’s true that Florida has its flaws, but for all of its mosquitoes, UV rays, and wacky residents, growing up in Florida has shaped me into the person that I am today, and I’m quite proud of the person that I’ve become.
I guess what I’m saying is, for as much as I’ve grown to love Texas, if you gave me the option to trade gator bites for shrimp and grits, Lily Pulitzer for Levi’s, and Miami for Austin by growing up here instead of Florida from the start, I would’ve said no. Florida gave me more mosquito bites than I can count, but it also gave me a large part of my identity, long before I ever found an iota of self in the context of race or religion. For that, I am very, very thankful.
Nonetheless, I am immensely excited to see how moving to Fort Worth, Texas, will further influence me and change me for the better as I embark on this next stage of my life. That being said, I am very grateful to all the local Texans who have so willingly shared their culture and traditions with me. Should I ever relocate from Fort Worth to another part of the U.S., I will doubtlessly carry some of Texas’s culture and influence with me.
In the meantime, I suppose I’ll have to identify with both Texans and Floridians at present, which must make me…a Texidian? A Flexan?
Please excuse me. I’ve just finished an entire semester of college. I am tired.