It’s no exaggeration when I say it feels like yesterday that I was going through my first week of college. I had just moved into my single dorm just a few days beforehand and was nervous about my new classes. I was barely socializing with some people I met through the theatre department at my university (back when I was still a theatre major, of course). In my classes, I sat alone and talked to no one. The same happened when I got back to my residence hall. I didn’t rush for a sorority and didn’t feel like I could fit in with the other theatre majors. I was lonely, severely anxious, and on the verge of transferring. I hated my life at the time, and I’ll never forget that sickening feeling.
I look back at my freshman self as a senior. My freshman self, who was so desperate to have a friend group that she was desperately hanging out with people who didn’t care about her. The same girl who had panic attacks while eating breakfast alone in the dining hall before her 8 am history class. The same girl who went home every weekend because she never had plans to go out or to see friends.
Freshman me: if you’re reading this, listen up.
- Knock on your neighbor’s door. How are you expecting to make friends in your dorm if you don’t make any effort? As terrifying as the concept is, just go introduce yourself and let them know flat out you’d like to hang out soon. In my junior year, my neighbors did that. I ended became super close to one of them. It’s so worth it.
- Put yourself out there. “I could never do this or that” isn’t going to cut it. Sophomore me decided to apply to be a tour guide despite the fact I thought I’d never get it. Turns out I would get it and my confidence being around people would develop so well. The next thing I know, I’m an officer for student government. Freshman me…get involved on campus.
- Fewer friends are better. I can say without a doubt that I would rather have two great friends rather than a toxic friend group (which I’ve been in before…yikes!) You may envy the friend groups on social media, but trust me: they’re not as joyful as they appear. Don’t waste your time trying to be friends with people who don’t care or put in the effort. That’s time for you to do something fun with yourself.
- Prioritize self-care. Not only is it good for yourself, but it’s also good for your relationships. The healthier you are mentally, the healthier you’ll be for your friends and family. If that means missing out on a night out to stay in…do it.
- Not everything is that deep. And yeah, I know I have pretty bad anxiety- especially socially- but most of the stuff you worry about isn’t the end of the world. And the harsh truth is that other people don’t care that much. That sounds rude, but it’s true. Most people are subconsciously self-centered and are only concerned about what’s going on in your life. Feel your feelings, then keep going on with life. Don’t let anxious thoughts ruin your day.
Keep your head up, freshman me. Your college journey is not going to look like everyone else’s, but it’s going to make you the best version of yourself possible. Treasure every moment of it.