I remember the first time I celebrated Galentine’s Day, at a crowded diner with my friends during our junior year of high school. We were a collective unit, walking through hallways or up Broad Street in a swarm.
For our first Galentine’s Day together, we sat around the table at Pete’s Diner (which is now closed) and exchanged letters. We decided to write them without signing them because we assumed each friend would be able to guess who each letter was from. And we exchanged small gifts, while exclaiming how thankful we were for friendship and for our collective adolescent womanhood.
The following year, things were a bit different. In the haze of senior year, we walked to a nearby Cinemug (also now closed) and exchanged handwritten notes, this time signed. We took a Instagram pictures with paper cups in hand, and laughed about college plans and the realization that our time in high school was coming to a swift end.
It’s been four years since that first Galentine’s celebration, and I’m finding myself thinking back to those friendships and that connection we shared, and that I think all teenage friend groups share with one another. We were inseparable. We knew everything about each other. And as I enter full-fledged adulthood, I can see that intimacy slipping away.
Which begs the question: how do you celebrate Galentine’s Day and all of its values when you feel far away from your friends? How can you let your friendships evolve without losing yourself in the process?
Not to sound too much like Carrie Bradshaw, but part of a lasting friendship is acknowledging that dynamics will change. From high school to college, from college to the “real world” and beyond that, things will change. Part of growing up is learning to accept that change.
Though I’m only friends with two of the friends I shared that first Galentine’s Day celebration with, I know that the friends I lost along the way were not any less important. All people and all relationships are important: they teach us about ourselves and our capacities for love. But some people are not meant to be with us forever. And that’s okay.
This Galentine’s Day, get together with your friends – the people you go to when you’re happy and when you’re sad – and enjoy your time with them. Celebrate the often intimate, mostly chaotic, and incredibly satisfying joy of platonic love, especially platonic love between women.
Even if you feel that you’re aging out of the “hoes over bros” mentality, it’s still important to tell the people you love that you love them. And know that platonic love is just as important as any other kind.