Hookup culture can be a messy subject, but why does it have to be?
It’s almost 2020, times are changing. The outlook on sexual innocence and making sex a special and sacred occurence is super traditional, so we are here to break those old views. This is a time of sexual freedom and expressing a new part of yourself. Is it okay to treat sex as something to “wait after marriage” or “save for someone special” these days? Of course! But for the people out there who are just looking for a good time without the commitment, here is what you need to know about hookups.
- Make sure all parties know that it’s a hookup.
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We don’t want any miscommunication. If one person has feelings and expects more out of the occurrence, things can get really complicated really fast. Make sure you and your partner know this is just for a good time and those strings are not attached.
- CONSENT
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This might be #2 on this list, but this is the most important thing to understand before engaging in anything. Make sure you ask your partner before you proceed with the next step. You should be able to tell through signals that they are giving you, but everyone needs to be given consent before things move along. Your partner should do the same thing. If they do not respect your boundaries, you might want to consider the hookup not being worth it. All parties should only go as far as they want to with not only a “yes” but an excited “yes!”.
- Protection will always be your best friend.
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Seriously. You might not know their sexual history and we don’t need any complications. Temple Student Health Services sells condoms at the cheap price of ten for a dollar (what a steal!), so there are absolutely no excuses! Please oh please, take this seriously. Always. Wear. Protection.
- It might not always be what you expect.
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What I mean is, don’t get your expectations up too high. There’s a 50/50 chance that it won’t be as fun as you thought it might be. Don’t let that discourage you though — some people just don’t have the right chemistry. On the other hand, you might have a fabulous time. In that case, congrats!
- Take care of yourself.
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If it didn’t go according to plan, remember that you live and you learn. Trust me, you are not the only one who had that type of experience. Also, know that your sexuality is no one else’s business if you don’t want it to be. Hookup culture is not only messy because you never know what you’re going to get, but also because people have a lot of opinions about it. You have probably heard this many times, but I am here to say it again. Your body, your choice. You decide your sexuality. Do not let anyone shame you for your decisions.
Hookup culture carries a very heavy “slut shaming” stigma. It is also used to make people who aren’t as sexually active feel like they need to contribute. Hookups are supposed to be fun, exciting and consensual. Never let others shame your actions or dictate what or what not to do with your body. As always, have fun and be safe!