After a long ten months of talking to a man, I have now fallen victim to ghosting. The past few weeks have not been easy, but there have been certain things that I have been doing to help myself get by.
Whether it is with a friend, a romantic interest or even family ghosting may be one of the most hurtful ways to lose somebody. Although it may seem convenient and easy, it leaves the person on the receiving end feeling very angry, upset, and confused. I too have been feeling that way the past three weeks and have found myself doing the stereotypical sobbing into a pint of ice cream while watching a romcom. Besides that, I’ve been doing other things to help distract myself from the sadness, and decided I would share my tips on how I have been getting back into the groove of life.
Every time I have had some form of a heartbreak, I always find myself being the most emotional when I am in a place where I feel comfortable. One example would be my bedroom. It is a safe space for so many people, where they can act or feel whatever they want, and won’t have to worry about anybody else judging them. Of course, being able to cry can be a nice coping mechanism (which I do recommend) but being in a different environment is a big distraction.
I have two jobs and a photography side hustle, so it has been easy for me to distract myself with all my jobs and hobbies. For those of you who may not have a job, you can go out for a walk, or go out and do work at a cafe or a library. I am also a big believer in retail therapy, and I highly recommend treating yourself to something. It can be a nice meal, a day trip to somewhere new or clothing. But remember to spend wisely and don’t get carried away because life is still happening.
Aside from not being in my safe space, one thing that I have found comfort in is having a creative outlet. Every time there is something bothering me or making me upset, I always end up writing my feelings. And this is something that everybody is able to do. You do not need to be a good writer or get specific about what is happening. But every time after I put the pen down, I feel so relieved.
Even drawing, painting or taking pictures of how you feel is therapeutic. To go off that, listening to music is another universally beneficial solution that is accessible to everybody. You can make a playlist with sad songs about losing somebody, or if you are in a situation similar to mine make a hot girl playlist and include lots of feel-good songs. Taylor Swift has been one of my go-to musicians for songs that get me a little out of my feelings. “Clean” and “Death by A Thousand Cuts” have been my two favorites.
The final and most obvious way to make yourself feel better in a time like this is to surround yourself with people who make you feel happy. Being with people who make you feel valued and loved makes you feel more appreciative of what you currently have. You don’t even need to go out or do anything exciting with these people. Keeping it simple and just being there distracts your mind from what is bothering you.
With having all of these outlets to distract my mind from what is happening, I’ve slowly been starting to feel like myself again. Of course, there are times when I get upset about it out of nowhere. But that’s okay! It’s normal to feel that way. From one girl who was ghosted to another, you got this, everything will be okay.