I have a twin sister, Meghan. We’re fraternal twins, though we have always looked identical. We’re close and have a lot in common.
Recently, we went to a party. I was minding my own business when another person at this party just continued to stare at us, finally asking if we were twins.
However, the follow-up question left me stunned. “Are you that co-dependent?”
While I don’t believe this person meant any harm this comment left me confused and frankly angry. So, I figured I could clear the air around some of the realities of being a twin.
Being A Twin Is … Constantly Being Asked About Being A Twin
I have been asked so many odd questions, I’ve lost track. Some of the weirdest questions when we were kids were: “Can you feel each other’s pain?” or “Do you guys have telepathy?”
I always thought these questions were silly, but they are fun to answer. While feeling each other’s pain is scientifically impossible, we often share similar thoughts and perspectives and we agree on most things, in some ways that could be considered telepathy.
As we have grown older the questions have gotten significantly odder and more uncomfortable. In middle school, there were a lot of questions about who was the “girly” one vs the “sporty” one or the “smarter” one vs the “stupid” one.
This question is a common one, especially among same sex twins I have noticed. But this question is hurtful for so many reasons. It pits siblings against each other and always leaves both twins feeling like they can’t stand on their own, it always made me feel like I had to live out a sort of gimmick or expectation.
Something I always found so interesting is that no one would ask these types of questions in relation to me and my older sister, Erin. It’s because this type of question is acknowledged as not socially acceptable, but for some reason people find it okay to do when you are a twin.
The most outrageous question Meghan and I have ever received though would have to be: “Do you guys share boyfriends?”
No. I am not kidding. I wish I were.
The only thing that is objectively worse than being asked these questions is being told to switch places or to change my appearance to make it easier to tell us apart, to chop my hair or pierce my cartilage.
These are things I would be open to but being told to do them makes them less appealing, which is something I believe everyone can relate to.
The Best Parts
Don’t get me wrong, there are so many wonderful things about being a twin. When people ask questions that are genuine, and they really try to get my name right, it does not go unnoticed.
Having someone you have shared your entire life with is awesome. They know you on a deeper level than most other people. They have seen you at your best and at your worst.
Even sharing these funny, awkward twin questions (and at times being stared at), having a twin makes it better given you have someone to talk about it with at the end of the day.
I don’t know where I would be without either of my sisters, and having them makes my life more interesting, fun, and bearable.