When the Strings Suddenly Become Attached

So, you met someone cute. Maybe on Tinder or at a party or even someone from your AM philosophy lecture. You get their Snapchat or their Instagram and decide meeting up would be fun. And you’re right, it is fun. 

You do this every week now. Hang out, hook up, spoon until you fall asleep, and wake up the next day to text them. You text them about your day and how boring your class is and if they’d be down to see each other in a few days. Then you share your feelings, but not actually. You share what bothers you and what made you cry, but nothing deep enough to scare them away. But wait, there’s more. You trusted them and now they know too much. They did the same. Why does this seem different now?

Looks like someone caught feelings. You’re telling yourself you didn’t because it wasn’t supposed to be serious. Both of you were looking for some fun. No strings attached. “Attached” is the key word here. Just when you wanted to grab a pair of scissors and snap those bad boys, you decided one more week with them won’t hurt. While this can be a messy situation to get out of or difficult to admit, let’s see how we can make this suck just a little less.

Have You Had “The Talk” Yet?

Okay, there are many different variations of “The Talk,” but this constitutes talking about boundaries and defining the state of this relationship. Discuss whether or not both of you would like to continue at the pace you are at. If you don’t, mention that you would like for something to change.

You Don’t Want Anything Serious But They Do

You have be super clear as to what you want. While you are not looking for commitment, they found themselves in a complicated situation. Let them down as easy as possible. It takes a lot of guts to admit your feelings, especially when they were not anticipated. So, tell them how great they are and how much fun you had together, but it might be best to stop this before even more feelings develop. The last thing you want to do is lead them on and give false hope. Maybe being friends can be an option if both of you two are open to it. If not, it’s okay to feel upset by losing something you looked forward to.

You Want Something Serious But They Don’t

Confrontation is going to be insanely difficult. Most people can admit that it’s one of the hardest things to do in life. Give yourself a night to prepare what your going to say if you have to. Hell, throw back some wine beforehand and send that text. I know you might hope they want the same, but don’t anticipate it. It’s going to hurt a lot more if you do and it’s not your fault they aren’t looking for something serious since everyone is at a different place, especially in college. It might be best to take yourself out of the situation. It won’t help you in the long run. By the way, it’s perfectly okay to grieve your hookup like they were someone you had broken up with. Even if it wasn’t an actual relationship, you got used to being with someone intimately and sharing a little bit of your life with. It still stings.

You Both Don’t Want Something Serious

Keep going at it kids. Have fun!

You Both Want Something Serious

Well would you look at that! You both caught the love bug. Wish you the best.

Whatever happens, I hope it goes well.  Unless you’re 100% sure with what you want, any type of “situationship” can be a bit messy. At the end of the day, do what’s best for yourself. Your boundaries and feelings come first.