You in Review: Why it can be Damaging to Young Viewers

Is You just a 21st-century fanfiction of Ted Bundy? And why are young viewers uber obsessed with it?

When You first came out in 2018, everyone was obsessed with Joe Goldberg, the main character, and his good looks, the dark and ‘romantic’ plotline, and the narrative control that Penn Badgley had. It was a nostalgic reminder of Badgley’s role in Gossip Girl, and (spoiler alert for Gossip Girl!) how he could finally have voice control over his omniscient storyteller abilities. 

But You, that’s another story. Gossip Girl had its 2000s feel to it with the bright colors of NYC fashion, socialite life, along with high school and adult life drama. Badgley’s newest show had adult life drama, yes, and a little bit of socialite life, sure, with the side character Peach and her rich, homophobic family. What’s so different about You, though, is its feminist-esque male protagonist, Joe, who stalks, loves, and jails his love interests in hopes of finding some control over them. When Joe is not happy with his life, he takes drastic measures on the women around him, manipulating them with his “feminist” philosophies. He tries to show that he cares about their domestic lives and is willing to fight for their honor. 

What You as a show does not consider is the effect it has on young viewers. It can dangerously harm them and desensitize them to the progress that society has made when it comes to warning about the dangers of strange men and dark basements. Joe Goldberg is played by an actor that has a large audience of fangirls/boys/theys, which is why so many watch the show. This is great for the show’s success, but how great is it when viewers are tweeting things like “Kidnap me please,” and “I’m telling u it’s ur face that does it. Ur gorgeous. I can see past that crazy sh*t lol,” to the actor himself? The romanticization of stalkers that read and are conventionally attractive comes from media representation of the quiet, mysterious romantic man. Shows like You do nothing to promote a balance of drama with the stalker criminal and resolution with a powerful character that can fight back with just as much strength, and with better morals. 

You seems like a fetishization of male control of women, something that the media has been trying to overcome for the last few years. It seems like a step in the wrong direction when it is open for young viewers to freely watch it on sites like Netflix. While made for the purpose of showing the irony in a supposedly “feminist” man that kills his love interests, teenagers are more interested in romanticizing the beautiful man gracing their screens. They are more interested in fixing the broken boy with maniacal traits like his first love interest, Beck, somewhat attempted to do. Beauty beats brains in this show just because beauty is combined with evil, and if the upcoming seasons do not fight back the failures of season 1 and 2, then You really has limited space to be recognized as such a media phenomenon. 

There is a discourse about how the show is ironic, but instead of irony, it feels more like a platform to desensitize television and audiences to the true struggle of being anything other than a cis, white, straight man. The recent activism and diverse inclusions of people that are not just cis, white, heteronormative men, has taken the world by storm and shows like You try to perpetuate the white-man agenda through victim-blaming and putting women and queers down constantly (like Peach’s terrible plotline). 

The large fanbase of You is made up of teenage and young adult women who are developing their identities, and creating a show like this largely destabilizes the progression that has been made in media and culture. It can be considered an overreaction to think this way instead of just enjoying the show, but that might just be another superficial idea that the powerful majority members of society created to dominate those that used to be considered weaker than them. Do better, television writers.