As we enter the prequel to the holiday season, Austin-native singer Conan Gray releases “Holidays,” a single for all the young adults navigating new lives, but still keeping one foot in a sweeter past.
A bittersweet ballad, “Holidays” is ingrained with the same nostalgic angst embellished in Taylor Swift’s “‘tis the damn season.” Gray tugs on heartstrings till they snap, and takes listeners back to the simple sandboxes, colorful classrooms, and naive nights of their youth.
Gray starts the song off with a lyric that reigns true for this time of year, “I’m so tired of taking orders from everyone / And my house is like a hoarder’s, / my bed undone.” While listeners, including myself, look forward to dressing in browns and dark reds, getting closer to December holidays, and watching fall films, the pressure of the soon-concluding year is suffocating. Gray’s unmade bed and house full of haunts represents the responsibilities and the reeling many listeners may find themselves drowning in during the fall and winter months.
“Holidays” continues and Gray sings, “Books that I’ll never read, magazines / Photo strips of you and me / Felt so old at only seventeen.” Diving into what his cluttered house contains, Gray nods to his naive days filled with memories and now, mourning. For those that grew up because circumstances ensured they had to, Gray sings to them. He sings of the memories that have collected dust in our minds – memories we were forced to move on from.
“Took a flight back to Texas just like every year / We barely talk, but our friendship can’t disappear,” Gray continues. Hinting at the later tear-jerking lyrics that remind listeners of their old friends, Gray reminds us that sometimes the strongest friendships don’t have to be the loudest. “At Kerbey Lane, the coffee tastes like gasoline / Could you order some for me? / I’m too cold and I’m too tired to speak,” Gray sings, nodding to his Austin/Georgetown roots and the relatable, lethargic nature that plagues us during the holiday season.
Gray goes into the chorus singing, “All my youth, I never knew that lifе would ever change / But wе keep on growing, didn’t think it’d show / But I see it on your face / The years have passed, but you laugh exactly the same / When I see you for the holidays.” Punching listeners in the gut, Gray facilitates flashing images of all our old friends from our past lives. When you grow up you forget you also grow old. But, what time doesn’t touch is your soul, your love, and your laugh.
“In those eyes, I see lifetimes I’ve had with you / From graduation, whole way back to elementary school,” Gray sings. While Gray paints the picture of a friendship spanning decades, listeners, also including myself, may have experienced whole lifetimes with friends from a more recent past. Personally, Gray takes me back to middle school, sitting at a cafeteria table with three girls who years later, still hold a piece of my delicate heart. “Teachers hang up the wreaths, children sing / Years ago, that was you and me / What I’d give to once again be naive,” Gray sings. Listeners may find themselves thinking: We were so silly to ever wish to grow up.
Gray then repeats the chorus twice and the song comes to a close.
As a college senior, I reminisce with Gray. I remember wanting to grow up. I realize that when I’m no longer growing up and I’m only growing old, I’ll look back on now.
I’ll listen to “Holidays” and think of my past lives.
I’ll remember that through every past life, as Gray sings, my laugh never changed and neither did the ones of those I love.