College is a really rough time for mental health, and jealousy isn’t an uncommon feeling. We’re constantly comparing ourselves, our lives, and our accomplishments to our classmates’. It’s especially rough right now, hearing about people’s fun summer plans with friends, job offers, and more. I’ve been experiencing some issues with jealousy lately, and while completely normal, it’s not something you want to hold onto. I’ve come up with a 4-step process to keep myself in check and not let any negative feelings manifest or deter me, and I’m sharing it here in case anyone else is going through something similar.
- Process Your Feelings
First, I like to indulge myself and really think about my feelings. This is something you can do by yourself, with a friend, or with your therapist if you have one. It’s easier to get over jealousy once you’ve fully acknowledged it. Think about the what and why of how you feel.
- Make a List of Things You’re Grateful For
This one might sound obvious, but it’s proven to be one of the most effective ways to get out of a negative state of mind. Sometimes we get so swept up in the day that we forget to stop and think about all the sweet spots in our lives. There’s always something to feel grateful for, however small or large. Thinking about these things will help you get your mind off of jealousy and onto positive things.
- Make Another List… of Your Goals
The central cause of jealousy is dissatisfaction with your life. So naturally you should think about (healthy) changes you’d like to make to improve it. Write them all down, even if they seem unrealistic. This is part of self-discovery and is something many people do regularly to stay productive and focused.
- Take Action
Just pick a goal and start working towards it! Make sure you stay true to yourself and continue working towards your aspirations.
This strategy usually works pretty well for me. However, sometimes further changes are called for. If your feelings are triggered or worsened by social media (as jealousy often is), consider deleting or decreasing your time on those apps. If you’re really stuck in your thoughts, go for a walk in the park to clear your head. And if you find yourself falling into negative feelings regularly, consider booking an appointment with a therapist.
Remember that everyone experiences jealousy, and no one’s life is at all perfect. The sad truth is whoever you’re jealous of is likely unsatisfied with their life as well. But life moves too quickly for us to always be longing for something more. Take time to smell the roses!
I hope these tips help you to cope with your feelings and improve your state of mind. You’re not alone:)
XOXO,
Victoria