Hi friends!
It never occurred to me how “odd” it was to some people that I would choose to live with four male roommates until I was catching up with a highschool friend who very kindly asked, “Is it not, like, a total sausage fest?” (Shoutout to Roni for giving me that line and idea to write this!)
The short answer to that question is yes, it kinda is a “sausage fest”, but not in a weird way and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My boys have taught me a lot and not to get too mushy (because they would hate that), but this experience really has meant a lot to me. Before you take the leap and make the same decision I did, here are some do’s and don’ts to living with a ton of men.
Don’t: Be afraid to get to know them.
When I first started living with them, I was 100% intimidated to talk to them. I thought I cramped their style and thought that guys liked to keep to themselves. My roommate Daniel and I talked about this a week ago- the first time he and I talked was when he asked me how to use the laundry machine…that was a month into living together. Before that, he and I just said, “hi” and “bye” whenever we passed one another. It wasn’t because he was mean or creepy or anything like that. I was just intimidated.
Now, I’m completely comfortable around them. We have scary movie nights, game nights, and jam sessions where Calvin’s on the piano, Greg and Daniel are on the guitar, and Kevin and I provide immaculate vocals. My personal favorite roomie activity- the “debriefings”, where we all gather around the living room and just talk about our week, who we’re down bad for, and all that gossip.
Do: Expect questions like, “Hey, do you know how the laundry machine works?”
Here’s the thing about some men- they’re children at heart and need some guidance when it comes to certain things. Cooking for example. I’ve had to help my roommates Greg and Daniel cook SO many times and what I thought was common knowledge turns out to be slightly puzzling to them.
“Del, can you smell my rice. I left it out for two days and I don’t know if it’s gone bad.”
“Dude, how do I know if this chicken is cooked on the inside?”
“I don’t need to put a tray underneath my pizza, right?”
*Sigh* Like it’s definitely not gonna drip to the bottom of the oven and cause the smoke detectors to go off or anything like that. That’s another “do”. Do expect the smoke detectors to go off at random times during the day and night.
Don’t: Be self conscious around them.
For some reason, this was a big problem for me. Because they were guys, I felt less comfortable being myself around them. For example, in the beginning, I would always fill in my eyebrows and wear semi-cute fits when I was home. I also hated eating in front of them because I am the messiest eater alive. Now…it’s a completely different story. Now, I always look a hot mess whenever I’m with them and I don’t really care. These boys have seen me at my worst, but that’s okay. No one should have to look, act, and feel perfect all the time. And hey, if they can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.
Do: Learn from them as much as they learn from you.
It’s crazy how much I’ve learned from living with men. Not only have they given me insight into the male psyche (and as a psychology major, that’s always fun), they’ve taught me a lot about patience, courage, and confidence. If y’all don’t know, I’m someone who struggles quite a bit with anxiety, paranoia, and OCD that stems from a certain traumatic experience I had freshman year of university. Living with the boys has helped me deal with those mental challenges a lot. I feel less anxious and paranoid when I’m home because someone’s always there with me and in general an apartment full of strong men makes me feel safer and more secure. Since they talk a lot about their love lives and their feelings, I’m also reassured that there are still some good and decent men out there. They probably don’t know this, but they’re one of the reasons why I feel less anxious around other men and why I feel more comfortable dating again.
Roomies, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry for exposing some of our traditions and secrets, but I just want y’all to know that you da realest and I’m #blessed to have you in my life.
So there you have it- some do’s and don’ts to living with a bunch of men. If you can’t tell by now, I love living with male roommates. It truly is a rollercoaster of experiences and while I know this experience might not be the same for everyone, honestly, if you feel comfortable enough, I recommend giving it a try some time.
I hope some of y’all found this helpful, maybe slightly amusing, and I’ll see y’all in the next one!
Love,
Delphi Pradiana