Basically anywhere and everywhere you’ll find some quote saying “Love yourself” or “Be kind to your mind”. These phrases have become so common that the message behind them is completely ignored. In my teens, I struggled a lot with my self-esteem and my confidence. I was constantly comparing myself to other people and would think that I wasn’t as pretty or as smart as the other girls in my class. I would believe I wasn’t worthy of a cute person’s attention but would pine for someone’s affections. Looking back now, I wish I had shown myself more love and compassion, especially when I was dealing with drama or the occasional academic hiccup.
In college, my perception of myself began to change bit by bit. I had a close friend who was super confident in herself and I admired and envied how her makeup was constantly perfect, she had a huge friend group, and was just overall really successful. I wanted to be like her and feel that good about myself and told her a few times how much I looked up to her. When my friend told me that I was beautiful and that I needed to believe in myself, I took that to heart; our conversation about self confidence when I was dealing with old emotions caused me to start treating myself differently.
Self love is a journey. Even now, as a senior in college about to graduate I still struggle sometimes with comparison and assuming people have it better than me. But here’s the thing: comparison does not make you happy nor does it make you come closer to being the version of yourself you want to be. Everyone is dealing with their own personal insecurities and experiences; you see 1% of a person’s life most of the time and even if they seem like they have it all, you don’t know what’s going on inside another person’s head. I started asking myself why I was continuing to compare myself to people who had completely different journeys than me. The answer that came back to me was nothing.
I started to think more positively and began to slowly change the narrative in my head. Throughout my own experiences in college, some great and some not so great, I have come to realize that I deserve good things to happen to me. Nothing is too good for me and my community has given me so much love and has helped me on this journey. Progress, not perfection is the goal. Loving yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and I’m glad to be my own Valentine this year.