A few months ago, a relationship I thought was going to last forever (or at least a lot longer), suddenly just…ended. Looking back, though, it wasn’t sudden. And it probably should have happened a lot sooner.
I went through the whole routine. Cried, suffered, cried more. I downloaded Tinder for instant gratification and compliments. I went out and partied and over-relied on my friends (Shoutout Madison, Tati, and Alexia). I even wanted to get back together. Oh, and I definitely cried a lot more.
It wasn’t until I made myself so uncomfortable that I started to feel better about myself. I forced myself to be alone. I stopped trying to block out my feelings. I let myself feel everything, good and bad because I was tired of being numb.
I was able to wake up and reflect on how badly I was neglecting myself throughout the relationship. I had stopped picking myself. I had stopped learning about myself, and I had definitely stopped caring for myself in all the ways I deserve. I was consumed by a relationship that I was forcing and that wasn’t for me.
In the process of healing, I fell in love with myself. I fell in love with how happy of a person I am when I’m in a space that nurtures me. I fell in love with all the things I had forgotten about myself. I fell in love with my true self and started to learn about myself all over again.
Here’s to growth, healing, new beginnings, and a new me!