At almost 20, I find it both surprising and just a tad bit frustrating that I still tend to relate to certain coming-of-age movies. I assumed I’d outgrow the themes of self-discovery, confusion, and personal growth that typically define this genre. But even now, parts of films like “The Edge of Seventeen” and “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” feel oddly relevant, as if they mirror the transitions I’m navigating daily.
I know myself better now and feel more certain about my path than I did at 17. I’ve grown, developed a sense of purpose, have listened to more Oasis and The Cure, and gained more direction. But back then, I was happier in a different way—lighter, less weighed down by expectations. That younger version of me, who dove into life with curiosity and spontaneity, is someone I don’t want to leave behind. I’ve realized I can carry her with me, bringing along her sense of wonder and joy, letting her remind me to find happiness in small, everyday moments. It’s not about choosing between who I was and who I’m becoming; it’s about merging those parts to create a whole, creating a mosaic of the people I’ve been. By embracing that carefree version of myself, I’m adding balance and perspective to the life I’m building now.
I’ve come to realize, though, that this uncertainty—this “not knowing”—has a beauty of its own. It’s terrifying, of course, not knowing if the dreams I’m chasing and the work I’m putting in will bring the results I want. But at the same time, that uncertainty is so incredibly freeing. There’s so much possibility in not having every answer. Embracing that has helped me accept this moment for what it is: a step forward that might be scary and unpredictable, but also bursting with potential I wouldn’t want to miss.
It’s strange realizing that, while I’m technically an adult, I’m still piecing together who I am and who I want to become.These movies make me feel seen and remind me that we are not inherently stagnant; we are always adapting, always becoming, and always learning. It’s a tug-of-war between feeling like I should have “figured it out” by now and realizing that maybe no one ever truly does. Maybe that’s the point.
