As I write this article, I’m already done with all my classes, ready to take my last final before I go home for a month. It feels odd to say, “I’m going home,” when I’ve spent the better part of the last five months living in an apartment, or really, living a completely different life than what I was used to for the past 19 years. I have a new routine, job, classes, and a four-year plan that I got used to quicker than I thought I would. So here are a few things I want to reflect on – things I’ve had to learn, things I’ve come to terms with, and just some overall thoughts on my first semester.
1. I was extremely cocooned before college
While I realize that the typical ‘freshmen’ experience ISN’T living in an apartment with your sister, I’m glad that I decided to because I learned just how much I relied on my parents for little things. Whether it was my father waking me up at 5:30 so I would have time to study before school and him making me tea to help me stay awake, or my mother reminding me to do small things I would have otherwise never remembered to do (clearing the coffee table of my compulsive book buys was a real struggle folks), being thrown into complete responsibility of cooking my own meals, making sure my house is clean, and ensuring I wake up on time was a little jarring to put it lightly. It was most definitely an adjustment I was less prepared to make than I had anticipated.
2. Not everyone I promised to stay friends with, I speak to anymore
Now, this is a sad one, folks. I was incredibly lucky to leave high school and enter college with some wonderful people by my side, some with whom I made promises of staying friends forever. Before I say, “life gets in the way,” and “we were busy and schedules never match up,” I want to talk about the bittersweetness of slowly drifting apart from someone you thought would be in your life for longer. Do you know the feeling when sometimes you can’t help but think about the memories you had with someone, everything you shared with them and everything you told them but now, if you see them on the street you would pretend like you don’t know them? Yeah, that’s the one. That’s a little how I felt at the end of this semester, looking back on the people I knew and those I now know. Regardless, I’m incredibly proud of my growth and even prouder of the people I am surrounded by – people who love me and push me to be a better person every day.
3. Just because the snooze button is closer than my class, doesn’t mean it’s a sign from the universe that I should skip the class
Look, I can explain. When I have to walk 17 minutes to class, ESPECIALLY when it’s 30 degrees outside (or the worse – sweltering heat), all of a sudden discussing the morality of humans at 8 a.m. isn’t the most appealing thing. And, as I mentioned before, for about 19 years, I relied on my parents to wake me up every morning, and now I was quite literally left to my own devices! Getting the motivation to attend my “attendance optional” classes was really difficult and, at times, justifiably not worth it (Austin flash floods will do that to you). I wish that I could follow that up with “and I miraculously decided to get my life together and stopped skipping,” but I didn’t. However, I did become more aware of the damage of skipping classes when faced with the makeup work after. At least I can proudly say that this semester, even though I learned the hard way, I’ve become ten times more mindful of attending my classes, though sometimes…. You know how it is.
4. My ‘Childhood’ home vs. My apartment
The first time I used the phrase “my house” when referring to my apartment, it kind of slipped out when I offered my friend a place to crash. I didn’t mean to say it, and honestly, no one cared, but it still hit me how quickly I had already transitioned into accepting the apartment, UT-Austin, and the city as my home. I thought I’d be more upset than I felt, but in fact, I began to love my new life even more deeply.
The first time that I used the words “childhood home,” however, was different. I’ve been back to my childhood home once in the time that I’ve been in Austin, and sleeping in my room that I haven’t changed since the sixth grade, having my parents take care of me, and returning after what felt like ages to something so familiar, there was no other way to describe that house other than a time capsule of my childhood. Did it make me sad that I began to distinguish the two in my speech? Yeah, but I wanted to keep the distinction. I wanted to preserve the memories, the nostalgia, and everything in between right as I felt it. And I’m glad I did.
5. Getting a piercing when I’m stressed doesn’t magically solve my problems
Hard pill to swallow, right? I still struggle with accepting this harsh truth, but it’s a slow process. Coming into college, I decided to pierce my nose – it’s culturally significant, it was my first paycheck’s first purchase, and well, the studio had a half-off sale. I was also still trying to acclimate myself to the new surroundings, and on a whim, my friends and I decided to get piercings. Now don’t get me wrong, that day is still recorded in my memories as the happiest day this semester, but there was a fourth reason I decided to get a piercing which I try not to admit had a bigger role than it did. I thought making some sort of big change would make me feel better about the fact that I was overwhelmed with classes and still finding a balance in my life. I don’t regret getting the piercing, I absolutely love the look, but maybe there didn’t need to be a fourth reason.
6. Joining organizations is a completely different experience as a college student.
Ok, time for a slight flex. Hello, being part of a student-run and written initiative like HerCampus and surrounded by amazing women who also get to write about their passions just like me?! Who would have thought complete creative freedom would evoke as much joy as it does in me? But really, getting the opportunity to meet truly amazing people, be a part of something bigger than myself, and find a little community in a school of over 40,000 was one of the best decisions I made this semester. And I hope that I can continue to keep writing and keep connecting with people!
Overall, I learned more about myself and the world around me this semester, which was full of laughs, tears, and memories for a lifetime. I love the people I’ve met, but more importantly, the person I’ve become, and I can’t wait for what the next seven semesters will teach me. Until then, I hope whoever is reading this has had a wonderful semester, and Hook ‘Em!