With my freshman year coming to a close, I’ve been reflecting a lot about all the struggles and happiness these last 8 months have given me. And while I feel as though I can count my first year as a success, there’s still one thing all those freshman advice YouTube videos didn’t prepare me for…
I wish I had known before college that it was okay to be unsure. I wish someone had told me it’s okay to not know what the hell you’re doing.
I’ve been telling people I wanted to be a doctor since I was seven. I have always loved science and learning about the human body, and started binge watching shows like Grey’s Anatomy and E.R. way too soon. So when it came to the decision of picking my major, it seemed like the most obvious choice was biology. I mean, what other choice was there for a pre-med student? (side note- there IS more than biology for pre-med students).
But I’m not sure I ever stopped to think if I even liked biology.
Spoiler alert– I don’t. I mean, not enough to study it in depth for the next five years.
And it’s not that I find it boring, I don’t. I’m just not passionate about it.
After realizing this, I was so so so confused. Do I stay on this path to become a doctor, knowing that in the end I’ll end up with a stable career I like, or should I go after something I’m passionate about? Am I even passionate about anything? I have a lot of interests, a lot of things I enjoy, but do I want to make a career of any of these things?
The phrase “pursue what you’re passionate about” seems obvious enough. But what if you aren’t passionate about anything? Or what if you feel passionate about a lot of things? How do you pick which one to pursue forever?
That’s pretty much where I am at right now.
I have so many interests. I love to paint, sculpt, sing, and act. I love science and anatomy classes. I love to write. I love fashion and even for a brief moment thought I wanted to be an interior designer.
I love a lot of things. I think I could do lots of things forever and be content.
When I tell people of all my varying interests, I’m usually met with something like “you have to pick one” or “those are hobbies, not careers.”
If you relate to this in any sort of way, I am here to tell you that that is BS.
If you’re reading this filled with some kind of doubt about your major and you need a little nudge- this is it.
Life is too short to be pursuing something you don’t love. You should be taking every opportunity to fill your life with as much happiness as possible– both in and out of school.
For a while I thought of college as this sucky interlude before another sucky interlude (med school) before I would eventually have a career I liked.
But that’s not the way college (or any school after) should be. College is where you should be exploring your interests and tapping into your passions. It’s the preface for the rest of your life, where you take the passions you discovered in college and continue to explore them forever.
And it’s okay to be unsure as to what that is. It’s okay to change your mind.
Personally, I am going to continue to change my mind again and again and again until I find something I can’t live without doing forever. Life is too short to do anything less.