The Road To A Growth Mindset

I used to say, “I could never do that” and was constantly stuck in a circle of comparison. Feeling like everyone else was miles ahead and I was somehow “falling behind.” But as it would seem, I was the only one holding myself back. 

I had a fixed mindset. I believed if that’s how you were born, that’s the way you were. There was no room for growth, some people were just more talented than others or that some people just didn’t have to try.

That’s when I learned the term “imposter syndrome.” 

Imposter Syndrome – a behavioral health phenomenon described as self-doubt of intellect, skills, or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals.

When I talked about imposter syndrome, my college peers claimed to have it as well. However, from an outside perspective, they seemed to have it all figured out. They have friends they can go to, internships and interviews lined up, and they know exactly what their “next steps” are. Either they don’t realize it themselves, or they truly can’t see that they do, indeed, have it figured out.

Falling down a spiral of feeling not good enough and not fitting in, I became impatient. It felt like no matter what I tried or where I went, it didn’t work out. What if I was trying to be something and investing all my time into something I wasn’t good at or made for? I simply didn’t deserve or belong at such a popular university.

After months of feeling this way, I mustered up the courage to go to a volunteering event. I said I’d be there, so I came. Unexpectedly, while waiting in a room before the event, another volunteer approached me out of the crowd and struck up a conversation. She asked about what I was studying, and I asked her about her field. Completely unprovoked, she went on a rant about making space, saying that people will often try to push you out of whatever you try for absolutely any reason. She continued to say almost everything I needed to hear, almost as if she knew how I was feeling or what I was going through.

I like to think the world works in mysterious ways, and I took this as a sign to simply “take a breath and a step back.” I decided that day I wanted to embrace being alone. I wanted to use the benefits of being my own best friend to my advantage. My quest was to stop constantly looking for validation and comparing myself to others.

And so I did. I kept myself busy, took myself anywhere I could on the bus, attempted anything offered to me, and became my own motivation. This resulted in auditioning for The Voice, placing in a karaoke knockout competition, and leaning into content creation. I simply had nothing better to do.

I found myself taking risks, exploring more than I had before, and learning how to really focus on myself. Before I knew it, my grades increased, I was attentive in class, and I was “better” at stuff than I was before. I suddenly had a change of heart that maybe I could do anything if I put my time toward it.

There was never a race or reason to feel like someone else had or was doing something that I should have been doing. The key word here is “yet.” I just wasn’t there… yet. I didn’t have that experience… yet.

That’s how I broke out of my fixed mindset and into a growth mindset. It was accepting the redirection and telling myself it was going to be okay. I now embrace the growth mindset and know that things will come to me. It’s crazy to realize that something as simple as a perspective switch and embrace can lead to opportunities you never thought could be possible. It took me a few tries to fully understand and accept the rejection and redirection, but I hope those reading this can get there a little sooner. What is meant for us will come to us; it just might take a little longer.