The Struggle Of Choosing The Wrong Major

Choosing a major can be stressful. I always reflect and think of how insane it was to have been a senior in high school submitting your applications for colleges and choosing one major to stick to for the rest of your academic career, even when you don’t have a clue about what you want to study in the first place. 

Growing up I was always seen as the ‘smart one’ in my family. I was seen as the one to get a higher education, so everyone set all their expectations on me. I was the role model for my younger relatives and the one my parents would depend on in the future – especially as immigrants. 

Everyone in my family always imagined me going into the medical field since I could remember. I grew up with this idea of going into med school when I got older and becoming a doctor with a big house as everyone aspired – everyone was sure of it.

Then high school rolled around and I did everything I could to live up to these expectations. I took any medical class I could from the beginning of my freshman year of high school. As much as it was draining for me, I kept pushing myself to learn and at the same time, I was continuously convincing myself that this is what I was passionate about. I remember the countless hours of studying I would do and all I could think about was how I wanted to do something else but I didn’t know what. 

Even after feeling like this, I kept pushing through it and continued throughout high school. Senior year then came and it was time to apply to college. All I remember was how I would stare at the major list not having a clue what to pick. In the end, I chose a major I felt like I had to choose.

Before I knew it, I was introduced to my very first semester of college and I was a mess. Yes, I understood how academically rigorous my classes were going to be, but it was even more difficult to go through them when I had no initial interest. I remember distinctly being in class and how other students enjoyed what we were learning so much and asking complicated questions while I struggled to understand the main concepts. Everyone seemed to enjoy the topic and I never once felt that same passion. It made me feel so bad about myself knowing I didn’t share as much of an interest as everyone else, but I wouldn’t allow myself to wander off the path my parents envisioned for me. 

It wasn’t until my second semester that I finally let go of this mentality and enrolled in courses outside of the medical field. It took so much out of me to let go of my pride and explore other options solely for my interest. It was difficult, but I felt a sense of relief.  

I immediately felt so much better after enrolling in the courses I genuinely wanted to take. Alongside having the ambition to learn and participate in class, I learned so much about myself and discovered I enjoy things I would’ve never thought of – it’s kinda ironic. 

As much as I wish I could go back in time to just choose the major I originally wanted to do no matter how different of a field it was and what others told me, I think I needed this. Without the experiences and personal challenges I had to face with myself, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be considering doing a dual degree or even getting the opportunities I’ve had without it. So as much as it was a pain to be at peace with the person I am today, I am happy to be where I am today.

• college
• first generation student
• mental health