Hi friends!
So I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and just last week, I joined the infamous Tinder. Sigh…I know what you’re probably thinking and you’re right- it was a bad call. Here’s three reasons why I hopped right off of Tinder and don’t recommend it for the newly single. (By the way, in an effort to make the storytelling easier, I’m going to give my ex a name…Tran. I like that name- it suits him.)
Okay, now onto the reasons.
- I really thought Tinder was going to take my mind off of my ex- it didn’t.
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Every date I went on- virtual or in person- made me think about the dates Tran and I went on. A few of them suggested a picnic at Zilker and I had to say, “NOPE, can’t do it” because whenever Tran and I argued, we would always have a picnic at Zilker. He believed arguing in public would help keep things from escalating and to be completely honest, it did. So going to Zilker would honestly not have been fair to my dates. In addition, every man that I matched with, I compared to my ex.
“He majors in CS? Tran majored in CS,”
“Man, he low-key laughs like Tran…”
“Wait, but why does he kinda smell like Tran. I wonder if they use the same detergent.”
The comparisons never ended and I knew that wasn’t a healthy thing to do, but my brain couldn’t stop it.
- There are some really not-so-great men on there.
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So, here’s the thing. I feel like after a break up, you want to feel like you didn’t make a mistake by breaking up with someone, right? Well, after encountering some very misogynistic, very arrogant men on Tinder, I sometimes felt like I made a mistake by breaking up with Tran. Some of the men on there made me feel like Tran was the last guy that would talk to me respectfully and didn’t just view me or want me for my body. Not the best feeling to have post-breakup. Granted, not every man was like that. Some of them were sweet. But I can’t ignore the ones that made me feel regretful.
- My heart and mind needed to heal.
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I left the most important reason for last because I feel like this is where we get a little deep. I think I didn’t like Tinder because I 1000% was not ready for it. I wasn’t ready to put myself out there, I wasn’t ready to speak to other men “like that”, and overall I still had love for Tran and wasn’t ready to let that go. If I had given myself more time to heal, I think Tinder would’ve been a bigger success for me. Of course, this experience varies from person to person, but overall, I would tell a recently single person to just give the healing some more time. Don’t hop on the apps right away. Make some time to be alone, to figure yourself out.
Well, there you have it- three reasons why the newly single should in my opinion not join Tinder right away. I hope you found some of this helpful and if not that, a bit entertaining. I know this was an experience for me to write this. I opened myself up just a little bit more, so I hope y’all liked this.
Love,
Delphi Pradiana