A few months ago, the expiration date of my adolescence finally arrived and I turned twenty years old. Being stripped of my teenager title has certainly messed with my head, leaving me feeling uncertain of my identity and nervous for the decade to come.
Most of my friends are in their early twenties or just turned the big 2-0 this year, like myself. If I’ve noticed anything from those around me lately, it’s that we’re all going through the same thing. We’re all trying to figure out what these next 10 years are going to bring, panicking at our thoughts and trying to get one step ahead of whatever higher power we believe in.
Our lives are going to be a little messy, uncertain and beautifully vulnerable for a little while. There will be times where we’re simultaneously surrounded by others yet still somehow alone. Times when life is going to laugh at the plans we envisioned and times where absolutely nothing makes sense. And you know what? I think that’s pretty exciting.
The one thing I’ve come to learn over these past few months is that nobody truly has it all figured out. Below are five songs that I believe perfectly encapsulate navigating through your twenties. Some made me bawl my eyes out while others demanded to be screamed while driving on the 401, windows down and hands up.
- “Older Than I Am” by Lennon Stella
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Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time? Sometimes, I feel like I’m missing out on the youthfulness of my twenties because I’m so preoccupied with over-analyzing my future. In a way, it’s like I live with this constant fear of not reaching the success I’ve instilled in myself. Lately, I’ve come to realize that while I’ve always romanticized the idea of success, I’ve never really taken the time to figure out what that looks like to me. Our generation places burdensome pressure on our own shoulders, slowly crushing pieces of our youthfulness. In a lot of ways, I feel like we’ve aged ourselves. Oftentimes, I feel older than I am.
“Sometimes I wish I could do something stupid / Be kinda reckless while I can / Say I don’t give a damn / But I’m older than I am”
This Lennon Stella record is truly one of the most breathtaking pieces of art I’ve ever listened to. With the utmost grace and heart-wrenching passion, she immaculately articulates the repercussions of growing up too fast. I believe this notion of ageing faster than time is one we don’t speak about enough. I think it’s important that all of us find the time to actually live in our twenties and not be completely overcome by the pressures that come along with it. Life’s too short as it is. In 10 years, I want all of us to look back, smile and reminisce rather than regret.
- “Comfort Crowd” by Conan Gray
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As terrifying as it is and as much as I want to deny it, quite literally everything changes in your twenties. For us ’01 babies, we’ve just set off on a decade that will leave us forever changed. I mean, by 2031, many of us will be married, have children of our own and be in the midst of the careers we’re currently dipping our toes in. I get chills just thinking about it.
“I just needed company now / Yeah, I just needed someone around / Yeah, I don’t care what song that we play / Or mess that we make / Just company now / Comfort Crowd”
Conan’s words remind us that sometimes we just need our comfort people, our comfort crowds. I’m talking about the ones who bring us back to earth and remind us of the versions of ourselves that existed before we were overtaken by the pressures of university, our careers and overall life expectations.
I’ve definitely noticed myself leaning on my childhood friends, cousins and parents a lot more in the past few months. Life has been moving at rapid speed, and the ones who know me best are often the ones who can pull me back in.
I hope everyone reading this has a comfort person, a comfort song or even better–– a comfort crowd. From what I can tell so far, this decade is going to be a wild one, and whenever it all seems too much to bear, just know that I’m rooting for you.
- “Pushing 20” by Sabrina Carpenter
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While writing this article, I’ve seen a lot of quotes that say your twenties are your “selfish” years. Now, that doesn’t mean we should go through our 20s being self-absorbed nightmares but, rather, it implies that if there’s anything we should be selfish with, it’s our time. Our youth years aren’t infinite and life is too short to surround yourself with people who aren’t on the same wavelength as you.
“I’m pushing 20 got no time for others / I’m pushing 20 got no time for others / Who ain’t on the same wave, yeah, on the same page / Tryna tell me what to be, yeah, tell me what to think”
“Pushing 20” by Sabrina Carpenter is a sassy anthem of self-confidence that reminds us that we’re the authors of our own stories. This decade is filled with responsibilities, critical choices and loads of experimental growth. During your 20s (and always), I think it’s important to surround yourself with people who challenge, excite and motivate you to do better. These years don’t belong to anyone but YOU. Don’t let those from your past (or anyone, for that matter) tell you who you are or who you’re supposed to be – ever.
- “Twenty Something” by Nightly
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Our generation loves hard and falls fast. We put all of ourselves into the things we’re most passionate about, whether that be our academic careers, aspirations or the people we’re closest to. All of this passion, however, can leave life’s tribunals feeling like the end of the world.
“So don’t freak out, we’re only twenty something / All I know is that with you there’s something / So different and that we’ll never slow down / Know that we’ll never slow down”
Us, Gen Z kids are super hard on ourselves, myself included. What this song is really trying to tell us is that, at the end of the day, we’re all only twenty-something. We all have so much life left to live, things to experience and people to meet. This is the time when we have to learn what things hurt us the most and what leaves the biggest impact on our hearts. Stick with the things that set your soul on fire, yet don’t be afraid of life’s possibilities. We have the rest of our lives to settle down and engage with stability. The moments in which our youth leaves us feeling infinite are the ones we can’t get back and the ones we’ll miss most.
We’re living through the good old days, so keep your eyes open and your cameras ready because if you blink, you might miss them.
- “Homebody” by Valley
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“Some days I don’t know where my mind goes / Horoscope says that I’m psycho / Nothing to fill up my film rolls / Spend all my time on my pillow”
The pressure to “do” your 20s the right way can gnaw away at your insides. If you’re not on King West every weekend, checking out the cutest coffee shops before class or constantly romanticizing your life, are you even doing it right?
Sometimes, it’s hard to articulate the emotions that come with being a young adult, but Valley does so in the most impeccable way possible – they just get it. I don’t know how they did it with this one, but every single line hits harder than the next and I truly can’t get through “Homebody” without crying.
“Nobody gets to know me / Guess I’ve been living low key / Lately I’ve been putting out the read receipts / Lately I’ve been feeling like a homebody”
If I kept a diary, I swear that these lyrics are what you would find inside. My internet addiction thrives amidst my moments of insecurity, my read receipts come out when I’m at my lowest and sometimes surrendering to my pillow is the only thing that entices me. FOMO eats me alive and the toxicity of being glued to Instagram, when I know it’s only going to make me feel worse, is a vicious cycle that I’m working through. It’s easy to feel like you’re going crazy when you see everyone popping bottles through a screen while you’re sitting in your childhood bedroom pondering your existence.
Dealing with mental health is hard, but it’s even harder when you feel like everybody and their mom is thriving while you’re physically glued to your bed as a result of a mental illness. The absolute lack of physical and mental motivation that comes along with depression is something that we don’t talk enough about. There’s quite literally nothing worse than knowing your capabilities, but being mentally imprisoned in your mind and physically unable to actualize them.
There’s no shame in feeling like a homebody, in fact, sometimes it’s what our bodies need. Mental health is important at any age and shouldn’t be placed on the backburner amidst the frenzy of life. Make sure your friends are okay, make sure that you are okay and prioritize the things that make you feel like life is worth living.
