After one of the worst-timed breaks of the year, I want to share some new experiences I had during the snowy reading week.
There was a culinary experiment with the infamous Wingstop, where cautiously taking a risk with ranch left my mouth watering for more. I also made time for some fabulous hairstyling this week as some guests began trickling into the house to prepare for some parties over the weekend.
White carnations, pink-petalled roses and cheery dahlias flooded the house; they made their way into bouquets for my friends and could be pinned into some fabulous hair accessories. Overall, the week made me reflect on different experiences of girlhood and the complex feelings that come with religion, childhood, and female friendships.
Without further ado, let’s go!
Thursday
After a labour of love in front of my bedroom mirror, I finally coiled the final roller and tucked her into place. Since girlhood, I have grown up with my hair nestled underneath a hijab, and it’s been almost 10 years since I put my first one on.
Learning to style my hair has been emotional and deeply empowering. I told my mom and best friend that it feels like I am reclaiming a part of girlhood that I never thought to explore. With every swoop of a round brush and coil of a curling iron, I have found myself becoming more confident with using different hair styling tools. I started in November when some curiosity was directed toward my aunt’s gorgeous Dyson, and it’s been something I look forward to doing every week since.
As a Muslim woman, the ritual of doing hair is not ubiquitously discussed and is usually left up to the woman to decide the extent of care she wishes to extend to her hair. At least, that is how I have experienced it. That’s why being able to pick up a hair tool on my own and knowing what to do to style my natural waves feels like this incredible power. Although I think lots of people might find that silly, I can’t get enough of my new ability.
Friday
With a bounce to my hair and a pep in my step, today’s highlight was an adventure with mango habanero — aka, the best Wingstop flavour, full stop! It was a new food experience amongst the many sprinkled throughout the bustling entertainment tapestry blanketing Mississauga.
My friends and I ordered corn and two baskets of flavours after what can only be called an overstimulation at Square One Shopping Centre — Mississauga’s largest mall. Wingstop divides its flavour by spice level, which naturally entranced us with the spicier flavours.
Their corn was an item I wasn’t too sure about, seeing as it was a vegetable in a sea of gorgeous chicken. However, I was pleasantly surprised by it. Pacific Glaze — their latest release — was sweet and unassuming but was easily trumped out by mango habanero.
Saturday
Today’s happy event led me to think about how young women are enjoying the bag charm trends (Sonny Angels, Calico Critters, Smiskis, Monchhichi), but it also made me ask myself… why?
It started when I excitedly ripped open up a Calico Critters blind bag that my friend surprised me with. Calico Critters is a toy brand of mini-versions of animals dressed up in quaint outfits. This is what made me think of the trend of young women buying dolls, accessories, bag charms, and trinkets associated with characters they loved in their childhood.
Could it be a way to covertly relieve the pressures of adulthood? The implications of paying bills, navigating changing social scenes, and stresses of education/occupation could be the arid landscape calling out for some relief.
Childhood fancies and whimsical accessories come to respark that joy of receiving toys as kids and the lack of expectation that came with youth. It also serves as a bonding point for young women. It helps us all form friendships and recognize folks who enjoy the same things we do.
It also makes me think of this hilarious TikTok audio that has been on my for-you page recently. We often see grandmothers and older women figures being teased and stereotyped for having doily-filled homes teeming with odd teacups and a dozen baubles. My collecting Calico Critters might be me playing into that at the young age of 21. Wanting to surround yourself with beautiful, comforting things that bring you a sense of fun in your life isn’t wrong, whether you’re 19 or 90.
It could also be the primal gatherer instinct in women calling us to curate elaborate collections of possessions. An interesting theory, and I really want to read a book on this if I find one!
Sunday
The task of buying a meaningful, perfect birthday gift is tedious.
Sometimes, you miss the mark and buy an expensive colouring pencil set only to realize your loved one fell out of colouring a few months ago. Sometimes, you hit the bullseye and get to breathe in relief. Most women are excellent gift-givers and comb through miles of shelves and store aisles just for the perfect gift.
At the end of the day, it’s the gift and what it symbolizes: a thorough, understanding relationship between the woman and her loved one. Here’s my recent experience with that:
I had set out earlier in the week to buy a few presents for my aunt and her baby boy, who coincidentally had the same birthday. My aunt is a notoriously difficult person to shop for. I wanted the gift to be something she would love to incorporate into her life as a working psychotherapist and new mom.
My first instinct told me to go to Winners, an Aladdin’s cave of Womanly Delight. I was trying to find one or two things that could encapsulate her vibe, and it was an exercise of proving how well I knew her. Well, that’s how I see gift-giving, anyway.
While stalking the aisles high and low, I knew I didn’t want to get her something that was too difficult for her to use on a daily basis and definitely not something for the house. By the latter, I meant it as a synonym for something thoughtless and stupid — something a man might buy a woman.
Some family friends who I was shopping with brought my attention to a charcuterie cheese knife set, and my eyes lit up — this was perfect! My aunt loved hosting and made beautiful boards for her parties. Tucking it away in my arm, I bought a pack of facemasks for her to use along with two gifts for her baby — a pack of socks shaped like shoes and a “baby’s first Ramadan” book. She absolutely adored them, thankfully, and she read the book to her baby that same night. Ten points to Slytherin for impeccable execution.
Monday & Tuesday
Two dreadful days spent mostly studying for two midterms approaching fast later on in the week.
Wednesday
The exam was a success, thankfully. I got my grade almost as soon as I reached home, and I was thrilled that my preparation hadn’t gone to waste.
I spent several hours in bed recovering from my exams, although I couldn’t sleep a wink. I was just waiting for the hours trickling slowly by for the intimidating midterm the next day. It was for a course called “Stress, Adjustment and Coping.” Ironically, the class gave me the most stress.
Thursday
After a seminar on social psychology, I stepped into the class where I was taking my exam. Perhaps by virtue of being so versed in stress, our professor placed lollipops for each student next to their scantrons. A heartfelt gesture, it was the first time any professor had considered their students during their exam in this way.
Our professor — a lady who dresses in loose sweaters and always has her flowing blonde hair open — has an intriguing approach to our weekly assignments. She insists we journal prompted by detailed questions she provides.
In a way, she reminds me of Professor Trelawney from Harry Potter. Reflecting back on how hard I studied for this exam and how stressful this course is, I realize that it was a cool moment when the professor actually recognized it. I imagine her ordering 100 lollipops online or buying huge bags at the grocery store. I think how it could have only been a woman professor to have this kind of foresight for her students and to give them a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
That candy improved my morale and put me in a better headspace to give my midterm. I don’t know yet how well I did, but it was a moment of inspiration for me to exhibit more generosity towards the people in my life the way my professor demonstrated it towards her students.