To begin the infuriation on a high note, let’s assess how Cambridge Dictionary defines “resting b*tch face”:
“An unkind, annoyed, or serious expression that someone has on their face when relaxed, without intending to: Having a resting b*tch face makes people think you’re unfriendly.”
Breaking this definition down, we see the implication that a woman’s naturally unintentional resting face, through no fault of her own, can create an unkind or annoyed expression — thereby granting others the right to label it a “b*tchy” face, and her, a b*tch.
But what exactly does “b*tch” signify here? Why use the term b*tch at all? Why not simply call it a “resting moody face” or a “resting grumpy face”? Sure, they don’t have the same connotation or shock value, but the question remains: why is this derogatory insult specifically aimed at women?
Cambridge Dictionary defines “b*tch” as “an offensive word for a woman who is considered to be unpleasant or unkind.” So, it follows this train of thought to say that a woman whose face appears unpleasant while at rest is labeled a b*tch.
Unsurprisingly, the consensus is often that while all faces naturally rest in a relaxed way, it becomes problematic only when a woman’s face is at rest — because, evidently, she must be eliciting a “b*tchy” expression.
But, what about a man’s resting face? Men are not immune to resting their faces in an unintentionally sour-looking way. And yet, they don’t have a gendered insult that criticizes their natural expressions.
Is anyone telling a man he has a resting b*tch face, or is he criticized for appearing unfriendly while simply breathing, reading a book, or looking at his phone without a smile? No one points to a man and deems him a b*tch for his resting face; only women are made subject to scrutiny for an act that every human is guilty of.Â
If we all make this resting face and it appears the same for everyone, why is there only a term that criticizes women for doing it?Â
This can be accredited to the misogyny deeply ingrained in our society. A woman’s resting face is a source of discomfort because it deviates from the expectation that women should be tirelessly beautiful, flawless objects — presentable, polished, and pleasing to the male voyeur.
Think about how often a man has asked you to smile more. This demand is often made in professional or social settings during moments of facial neutrality — possibly when a woman is focused on something or just trying to get through her day. Frequently pointed out by men, this expectation stems from the belief that women should embody ideals of beauty and perfection to conform to superficial standards set by the patriarchy regarding how women should look.
The term “resting b*tch face” underscores the notion that a woman’s relaxed, natural facial expression is perceived as cold, unpresentable, and unfriendly — all qualities she shouldn’t be because she’s a woman. Women cannot display unkind, annoyed, or unpleasant expressions because then what’s there to look at? This objectification of a woman’s appearance should be discouraged by now but how can it be when it’s so heavily ingrained into everyday vernacular?
Unfortunately, “resting b*tch face” is not an isolated term; it exists alongside numerous phrases in common conversation that perpetuate harmful and outdated depictions of women.
Take the terms “d*ck” and “p*ssy,” for example. On the surface, they are colloquial terms for human reproductive organs, but most of the time, they are used as means to hurl insults. The term “d*ck” is frequently used to describe someone as stupid, mean, or hurtful. But what about “p*ssy”?
“P*ssy” is used to label someone as weak, chicken, or “not man enough.” Think about that for a moment. The female reproductive system is made up of the most complex, intricate, beautiful, and vital organs that essentially create life — and it’s called weak. The reproductive organ that brought all of us into the world is reduced and belittled to a euphemism that equates it with weakness.
It’s disheartening to consider how much harmful terminology has been normalized to the point of overshadowing its initial misogynistic roots. But truthfully, I find it far more disheartening when I hear women who shouldn’t have to explain their resting expressions feel compelled to preface them, asking others to excuse their faces as they might convey emotions they didn’t intend to project.
Women should not feel compelled to preface or apologize for the state of just being. Women don’t exist to beautify the world for men. Women don’t need to filter their facial expressions through the eyes of the male gaze, and they absolutely will not be catering to it either.
We will always exist in a world where women are made to feel anomalous, but that doesn’t mean we must sit back and let it happen. We will not allow the world to criticize and scrutinize every aspect of our being simply because they believe they have the right to do so.
So, if someone asks you to smile more, look them dead in the eye, and say “No, I won’t smile, but I’ll show you my teeth.” Then, tell them to stream Nightmare by Halsey.Â