As we enter our second lockdown, I can’t help but reflect on the first one earlier last summer. A feeling of uncertainty, loss and loneliness was felt globally, but the one I resonated with the most was one of darkness. I don’t mean this in the cliché sense at all, where we’re told constantly that there is light at the end. There was no light for me, and for a while, it seemed like there wasn’t ever going to be. It was a feeling of interwoven numbness, anxiety and shame that lived and breathed throughout my body, mind and soul on a daily basis. I have always been the type of person who thought that my sole purpose on this earth was to uplift those around me and to use the privileges that I’ve been given to do that, even when I was at the worst personal point in my life thus far. One thing I didn’t understand was that the best way to help someone else is to continue educating, working on, loving, accepting and appreciating yourself.
The one person who has helped me in understanding the darkness that started to grow inside of me and forced me to confront it was Jameela Jamil.
I began following her movement, “I Weigh,” right at the start of the first lockdown, and it’s still the one podcast I make it a point to listen to once a week. I had seen her on The Good Place and was curious to see what she was like outside of her acting career and that is when I discovered a world on social media that I had only hoped existed. This community she has created for BIPOC folks is truly phenomenal, and it all centers around the ‘radical’ notion that you are meant to love and accept the precious body that you have been given. The activist movement encourages you to celebrate parts of yourself that mainstream media and society often look down upon. That’s what drew me toward her work and also when I discovered her podcast.
I am a huge fan of all types of podcasts but “I Weigh” has been one of the most refreshing ones yet because of how much vulnerability and honesty Jamil and her guests show. In each episode, she speaks to an individual who tends to— but not always— practise activism in the arena of body acceptance, intersectional feminism, racism, ableism and so much more. It has shown me that by investing more energy into myself and educating myself more on the types of activism I wish to practice everyday, I can better assist those around me and be a better ally.
If you’re in the same boat I was in during the first lockdown and are wanting to give this podcast a go, all I can say is it made me feel less alone during a time where I thought there was a gloomy cloud that was looming over my head and mine alone. Here are my top three episodes you can start off with if you’re looking to give it a go:
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Vivek H. Murthy (on the concept of loneliness and the Western culture’s tendency to give too much space)
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ALOK (on how to be a better ally to trans, gender-nonconforming and non-binary folks, especially those who are racialized)
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Aubrey Gordon a.k.a @YrFatFriend (on fat-shaming, the racist history of the BMI and different ways of approaching hard conversations with people who hold opposing views)