It’s fine. I’m doing fine. It’s just another class, and a professor is just a person who teaches. No one here is coming after me. But everyone here is so much more prepared than I am. This girl writes for like five magazines… She’s a first-year! Everyone is just conversing. How does one converse? I didn’t do the readings. The professor knows and probably hates me. Why can’t I turn my camera on? I put on makeup and fixed my hair and everything!
“Angi, how do you like the course so far?”
Oh my God, I can’t do this. I shut my laptop and kicked it away from me.
This was when I first experienced anxiety. In my 19 years of age, I’ve never had trouble in any social environment. Although I can’t say everybody likes me, it never really mattered whether they did or not. It just happened so suddenly this year that everything started mattering all at once; I don’t know if it is because human interaction only exists via social media. I’ve always sucked at being active on social media, and when my social life became completely dependent on that skill, I got overwhelmed and immediately let it get the best of me. I’m certain that I’m not the only one feeling this way, although it often feels like that sometimes. Even though I still have major anxiety, here are a few things I do as a university student to take my mind off my racing heart.
Find out what’s exactly making you nervous
Whether it’s your awkward breakout-room partner or the fear of being behind in a class, you need to figure out where your anxiety stems from. To do that, you need to use the process of elimination. Change your studying environment frequently. If that’s not it, drink less coffee. If you still can’t stop your knees from constantly shaking, study more, get a planner, change your sleeping pattern, or get rid of the pile of clothes sitting on your chair. Basically, if you’re uncomfortable with your daily routine, remember it’s not fixed. You can consistently make changes to it until you feel the most at ease.
Spend less time alone
It could be your time alone that’s making you fear human interaction. Personally, I’m an extrovert; I’m at my worst when I’m not busy with work or friends because that’s when my self-doubt fuels my insecurities. I become a person who cuts off close friends then feels bad about it, then starts to slowly patch things up again and then feels like the worst friend for eternity. I just cause drama when I’m alone which is why I keep myself busy with my minimum-wage job all the time. Go outside or turn your camera on during classes. Do not let your mind control your mental stability when you’re alone.
Be Open for a Routine change
I joined a gym. I’m truly the least athletic person you could ever meet, but I forced myself to start a gym membership. I thought it would put me in a better mental state, and it did. Granted, I ended the membership a couple of days ago (I just didn’t know how to use any of the machinery). Point is: if you have hobbies, enhance them. If you’re like me––a talentless, passionless human––you’ll have to try out new things. Try different hobbies that have helped people control their anxiety. If it worked for them, chances are it could work out for you. Stop procrastinating. You can procrastinate in your studies all you want, but don’t delay giving yourself peace of mind. Push yourself to be the closest to who you were or who you want to become.
Give yourself a chance
I know how cliche this sounds. But it really brings me peace knowing I’m there for myself. I accept the awkward moments I cause and then laugh about them. I allow myself to ask for help when I need it, and I feel fine admitting that I don’t always feel fine. You’re not the only one going through difficult times. You need to recognize the fact that no one is coming for you or can bring you down. Your anxiety is just your body’s way of telling you it’s uncomfortable. Your body sometimes overreacts and you’ll have to disregard it. Other times, you need to listen to and care for it as you’d do for a baby or pet.
Since I’ve been experiencing anxiety for almost a year now, even during the least animated moments of my life, I’m more familiar with how to navigate through it, thanks to these four practices.