During reading week, I went to San Diego to visit family, and it was an eye-opening experience. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had given up some control and really couldn’t care less about anything. It felt great, so I thought I would share my experiences and tips with you. Hopefully, this can help you feel a little lighter.
Plan not to plan
Ironically, I planned not to plan: I did all the schoolwork I could in advance to not worry about anything during the week, and I got all the necessary documents ready for the trip, but that was it. I didn’t think much about what I wanted to do or my plans for the week. I just wanted to go there and be with my friends while having a different mindset. I wasn’t really planning on doing much — I just wanted to try being this new “me” — but I ended up doing a lot. I learned a lot.
Try out different ‘you’s’
I’m an anxious person (with diagnosed anxiety), and I have been going through rough times, mostly because I moved to a new country with only my mom, just to spend an entire year inside the house with no friends. I was sad, thinking way too much about going out and doing things. But I was also way too anxious to do anything about it. So, when the opportunity arose to go to San Diego and visit my cousins, I took it. I went on this trip with a particular mindset. My mind was set on doing things differently, on being a different “me”–– a lighter, less-uptight version. What I think worked was that I could really be a different person for a week and didn’t have to worry about not being able to handle things. I knew I would be going back to my “normal” state soon enough, which really helped me give up control for a while.
Say “yes”
As soon as I got into the car, my twenty-something-year-old cousins asked me: “What do you want to do?” I answered, “Anything you want or like doing. I’m here to do things differently.” What’s shocking to me is that I did it. As I was standing on the plane, flying back to my still-new home of Toronto, I realized I had never behaved this way. I never had a trip, or a week for that matter, like this––a week full of new experiences and saying “yes.” “Yes” to everything without overthinking possible consequences or what people would think. I was just doing what I wanted; I was okay with doing what other people wanted, too. It felt so liberating.
Trust your gut — and the people around you
Giving up control is scary. I feel like this was the most frightening part of my trip. I dove headfirst into all experiences with no fear of saying yes. I gave up control of my days and actions to other people––and my gut. I worked hard, not feeling guilty, bored or sad about anything I was doing. I’ve never felt so scared doing the simplest things, like talking to new people at a party, but it never felt so rewarding.
Feel your feelings
If I were to narrate everything I did last week, it all may seem way too mundane to have had this effect on me, but in some ways, I did find the extraordinary in the ordinary. I let myself be. I allowed myself to experience the feelings I was having when I had them – without thinking about what I should be doing in the next second. I know this may seem too cliché, but if you are someone uptight like me, try slowing down for a second and paying attention to your feelings, to your breathing and to how your heart feels on your chest. Listen to your body working; listen to your surroundings. Breathe. If you can do that in a beautiful city with some of your favourite people in the world, even better!
This week, I visited new places, ate new foods, met some incredible people, saw the sunset on the ocean, smoked weed, had a crush on a woman — all for the first time. It felt different trying new things and letting things go.
I am writing this for you, but also me. I don’t want to forget these lessons I learned (and my anxiety tells me that if I don’t write them down, I will). So, here I am. I hope this helps you attain a few eye-opening experiences sometime soon.