If you ask me if I am a practical, easy-going person, my answer would be a straight-up NO. I am an emotional fool. I don’t have any shame in admitting it, but it does make my life a little less easy.
Since I was a kid, it has always been very hard for me to get things off my chest. Letting go was never my cup of tea. I used to always take things personally and because of that, everything got to my heart. I was at a point where if anyone even screamed at me, I would just tear up. My anxiety grew on me.
Life has never been too easy for me. Be it friendships, family or relationships. I have always struggled to fit in. Even if there are people around me who care about me, I would always feel out of place. I always felt left out. The reason why this affected me so much is because of expectations. I expect too much for my own good. That was the problem. Even after so much betrayal, so much toxicity and so much drama, I still expected things to change. I still expected people to change. I used to believe that being alone was the worst thing that could happen to a person. I used to try too hard to be seen, to be noticed, to be acknowledged. Sometimes I did; sometimes I didn’t.
It got to me too much, most of the time. So, I decided to learn to let go, which wasn’t easy, of course. I am still learning. I made myself a priority. I learnt that no matter how many people come and go from your life, you have to be there to defend yourself. There are going to be times where you might feel like no one wants you to be around or feel unwanted, but the best trick in the pocket is to not expect too much from anyone. Sometimes, all you need to do is let go. Let go of the feeling that you get when you don’t get what you want. Let go of the person who makes you feel any less about yourself. Let go of the toxic environment that makes you feel like you don’t belong. Let go of all the things that aren’t you.
I will admit, some things cannot be let go of easily and it takes time. I still haven’t completely learned how to handle things when everything goes downhill, but I have some principles that I follow to get me on the right path:
1. Replace expectation with hope.
2. If you’re light-hearted, don’t show it to the world. They may take advantage of your sensitivity and empathy.
3. Only listen to what you want, not what will make others like you more.
4. Don’t try too hard to fit in. What’s yours will come to you.
5. Letting go of things will never be easy, but it is worth all the trouble to make you feel full again.