The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines selfishness as “seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” From this definition, it is clear that the word “selfish” comes with a negative connotation, and as a result of this, many people feel extreme guilt for being selfish. This twisted definition creates a destructive cycle where individuals wear themselves out by continuously being selfless, and completely disregarding their well-being. I’m here to say that it is okay to be selfish. This goes for the most selfless people out there, for those who are bombarded with life’s challenges, and simply for anyone who needs to hear this. It really is okay. Self-prioritization does not equate to selfishness, and this norm needs to be challenged.
Self-care, self-love, self-growth, self-confidence, self-empowerment … the list goes on – one thing similar about all these terms is that it all stems from self. Without ourselves, we are simply nothing. All the growth and confidence we build daily are highly reflective of the power we hold. The most important thing from all of this is that, in a world full of ups we need to put ourselves first. The recognition of self-power is significant because sometimes we forget how much we can transform our own lives just by prioritizing ourselves once in a while.
I agree that it is hard to be selfish sometimes. It doesn’t come naturally, believe me, I know. It requires a lot of baggage, experience, failure and downfalls to truly understand the importance of self-prioritization. I agree that it is hard to focus on ourselves when we subconsciously indulge our focus on those around us – friends, families, loved ones, partners. But if all we’re doing is focusing on the “others” in our lives, when will it be your time to take care of yourself?
Don’t get me wrong, it is so important to spread love, kindness and goodness to those around us, but we also need to give ourselves the same energy we give to others.
This is where the importance of self-care needs to be addressed. A few ways you can prioritize yourself can be by:
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Taking A Break From Social Media: Sometimes social media can be extremely overwhelming especially with so many things going on around the world. Social media can also be very draining, we invest our time on these platforms, and feel like we need to always reply to our friends and family. By taking a break, you can focus on life outside of social media and this consists of focusing on yourself entirely.
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Pick Up A New Hobby: With school, work and many other obligations in our lives, we forget what free time is and this is where we forget about making ourselves happy too. Try picking up a new hobby, if you’re not the best artist but always wanted to learn how to paint, try it out! Hobbies are a great way of spending time with yourself and figuring out things you truly enjoy.
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Time Management: Set out a solid schedule for yourself. Being “busy” is an excuse for us to focus on everything revolving our lives around just work and school. When you manage your time, you can open up a window of opportunity to do something you love. Take a walk, go on a hike, do some yoga, truly – this can literally be anything you want, as long as you love doing it. Sometimes we forget to do the things we love because we are so busy. But, we have 24 hours in a day, I know we can all spend a bit more time on ourselves.
These are just a few of the many ways you can give yourself more “me time.”
But there you go, you see, being selfish doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad! It is not the negative and guilt-tripping concept we assume it to be. This is why it is okay to be selfish sometimes. We all need to care for ourselves more than we think we do.
I like to think of it this way:
On our worst days, we are our worst critics. On our best days, we love ourselves a bit more. And in between those good and bad days, we get lost in time and forget about caring for ourselves. Time is of the essence, life is short, things are unpredictable and after all this, regret is the last thing we all want to feel. Take some time to enjoy yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself and keep doing this. A bit more each day. The time we spend on ourselves is invaluable. You’ll thank yourself one day for all the goodness you give to yourself. Being selfish doesn’t necessarily mean you need to forget about those around you, but please don’t forget about yourself while you’re doing these kind gestures for others.
We live in a complicated world, with nearly 8 billion people, it is so easy to lose ourselves in this busy atmosphere. However, as long as you remember your self-worth and the importance of self-care, you will always make time for yourself.
Remember, self-love, self-care and all of those other hyphenated words stem from self. You will always need yourself the most on both your good and bad days. Be kind to yourself, take breaks, relax when needed, and never forget to focus on you.