If you had asked my sister or me at 18-years-old if either of us were willing to go to a concert alone, I believe the answer would’ve most likely been no. The sheer thought of thousands of people, especially at a large venue like Scotiabank Arena, perceiving me as being alone would’ve already sent me into a spiral.
The same thoughts would be running through my mind when it came to going to a restaurant or a movie by myself. With more thought on the issue, I was sure that this story rings true for many young women my age.
When I surveyed my friends and checked social media apps like TikTok or X, formerly Twitter, I got a myriad of answers both for and against doing things alone.
I have a few friends who really enjoy doing things alone! My best friend said, “I don’t know if it’s me being introverted or not enjoying outside influence, but I feel truly myself and the most comfortable being alone.”
Tiktoker @._mazzy444 posted her take on the matter by captioning one of her TikToks, “Doing things alone is okay because I’m still spending time with the world.”
The responses against being alone were very similar and, honestly, not entirely shocking — my sisters and their friends included. One said, “I don’t want to potentially run into people I know and it can maybe be unsafe,” which was actually a popular response shared throughout social media as well. Many young women felt fear or anxiety about being alone in situations that have the possibility to turn sketchy or uncomfortable.
Another friend, who is originally from Australia and has been living in B.C. for the last year, was sort of in the middle. She said, “When I was at home, I loved being out alone, and I went to movies and lunches by myself tons, but since I’ve been in Canada, I don’t feel that same sense of security or confidence.”
In my experience, as someone who loves to do things alone, I think there can be many benefits of doing things independently. For reference, I have done almost everything possible to do solo: go to restaurants, movies, movie premieres, and concerts.
Most recently, I’ve travelled to New York City and been to multiple musicals, museums, and an entire convention, where I met many of my favourite Dungeons and Dragons creators, all by myself. Most of the time, I can make friends or have light conversations quite easily in these spaces knowing I have at least one thing in common with someone who is in line/seated next to me, which also provides a somewhat comforting sensation.
Even when I’m dining alone or going to a movie alone, I love being able to unabashedly enjoy a meal I love or a movie I’ve been excited about without annoying or potentially inconveniencing one of my friends or family members. I’ve also come to realize that truly being in my own company allows me to become more comfortable with the world around me.
Understanding my neighbourhood, my city, or even cities I’ve never explored before, has allowed me to see things that I may not have ever seen or heard of, and I get to do it all while learning more about myself.
If you’re at all skeptical, or even a little anxious about going solo somewhere, start small. Go to a matinee movie so there will be fewer people or get a light lunch at a small cafe near your house. Start in familiar places and have your best interests at heart, then start working towards the bigger events like a concert or a weekend trip to one of your favourite places.
Go where you feel comfortable, and most importantly, where you feel safe. The benefits of going solo are just waiting for you to explore them!
Don’t believe me? Take it from X user @NaesCloset who wrote:
“Going out solo to concerts, restaurants, parties, etc. can def feel awkward/uncomfortable at first but honestly once you get out of your head, become present + learn to enjoy your own company, it’s such a vibe! People will stop themselves from enjoying different activities or events because they have no one to go with and you literally don’t have to. Enjoy your life.”
Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to see The Substance.