I previously wrote about the significance of Ariana Grande’s latest album, eternal sunshine, and how it embodies the idea of learning how to accept yourself. The deluxe version, eternal sunshine deluxe: brighter days ahead (ESDBDA) builds onto this narrative by demonstrating hope, acceptance of loss, and self love in a whole new way.Â
There are songs like “warm” (my personal favourite), which are about finally feeling safe within yourself and finding the ability to love romantically. This song truly brought tears to my eyes because I related so heavily. Until I was 20, I never knew what romantic love was — I believed nobody could feel it for me.Â
I had gone through a few talking stages and caught feelings or knew the other person felt things towards me that I didn’t reciprocate. It got to a point where I was so tired of the games and decided I was going to just figure myself out. I suddenly found myself falling in love fast. I had gotten to a place where I was so comfortable with being alone and okay with it that romance found me, and I felt okay being vulnerable and accepting it.Â
“Warm” is the embodiment of understanding that you need to love yourself before you can commit to being a partner to someone else. This is the third new track added to ESDBDA that talks all about this journey.Â
“Intro (end of the world) – extended” continues from the original by having Grande interrupt herself to reflect and question her relationship and slowly find clarity. For me, this song is about grieving someone even when you officially end your relationship despite feeling like it was over for a long time — long before the official breakup.Â
The difference in emotion in the first and third new additions is so powerful. They have been on repeat for me because they demonstrate how, at some points, you can be sad yet accept a loss but still find the strength to rediscover yourself to finally be ready for love again.Â
Another song that stands out to me is “hampstead” which is about being your most true self and not paying mind to the negative and false narratives put against you. The chorus, for me, is so vocally emotional and perfectly describes how it feels to experience standing up for being your true self.
I have come to understand that I owe nobody an apology for being and loving myself. My closest friends, family, and myself are the only ones who get to see this side of me — parts of me that are vulnerable but also tell me who I am — so why would it matter what anyone else thinks?
When Grande sings, “I’d rather be seen and alive rather than dying by your point of view,” she is explaining how she doesn’t settle for submitting to an image that is not her authentic self.Â
The emotional rollercoaster of ESDBDA is a masterpiece. It’s a perfect depiction of how turbulent the journey of self-love is but so essential to developing before committing to another person.
The narratives others have for you are rarely true, so why try to impress those who don’t even know you? I have come a long way from feeling so much self-doubt and now feeling confident in who I am and what I have to offer to others.
I listen to “hampstead” and feel empowered to be myself and not feel like I should apologize for it. “Intro (end of the world) – extended” reminds me that sometimes good things come to an end, and it is completely normal to not heal at once; it takes time.
From the first song of the whole album to the last, ESDBDA reminds us that your journey of loving yourself is not linear.Â
Your life is yours, and it should not be spent chasing validation. Loving and understanding who you are is important to your other relationships, and you should not pay mind to those who try writing your story.