My heart pounded out of my chest as I struggled to catch my breath. I felt my cheeks warm up, enfolding me in their embrace as they mimicked the atmosphere of the room. My legs collapsed beneath me, and I crumbled under the weight of my body. Stars blurred my vision, and I scrambled to find the remote control to switch on the fan. My eyes filled with tears, and I gasped for breath in the struggle to overcome my feelings of helplessness.
One…two…three…
Counting my breaths slowly, I snapped back to reality.
Despite my second panic attack in a month, I immediately returned to my desk and brushed off the experience. Minutes passed, then hours, but no progress was made. I was too deeply buried in the throes of anxiety. An eerie cloud of worry hovered over my head, and I struggled to concentrate.
This definitely isn’t normal, I thought. If only a product of mere stress, why does it make me feel like my heart could stop beating at any moment?
According to the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), about a third of adults suffer from panic attacks each year, with about 4% developing into panic disorders. There is no such thing as a trigger too severe or too insignificant for panic attacks. Whether you’re going through major life stress, such as a divorce or something as trivial as being late for work, you can experience panic attacks at any time. It can strike with no warning and oftentimes without any recognizable reason.
My panic attacks began last year as a result of my overbooked schedule and insufficient personal time. I lost the excitement I used to feel when I looked at my colour-coded calendar. Once celebrated for high-spirited team meetings, red-labelled events have now become burdensome. The yellow events that indicated time spent with friends are now rare and bizarrely stressful. It’s impossible for my schedule to accommodate time for personal matters. That had to be put on hold. The feeling of burnout, exhaustion, and hopelessness now overwhelms every morsel of my being.
I’ve lost the ability to say no to opportunities for fear of falling behind my peers and appearing incompetent. Despite my extensive LinkedIn page outlining my experience, I can’t help but compare myself to the next person who is doing all that and more. I can still be doing more. Why aren’t I doing more? The shadow of imposter syndrome haunts me at every waking moment.
Hustle, hustle, hustle.
Those are the only words that reverberate inside my head as I feel myself losing momentum. Every day is a constant battle between my career and myself, between my academic validation and peace of mind, between chaos and sanity. It’s an ever-exhausting process.
My dreams are boundless, with high hopes and ardent ambitions. But in a room full of 20-year-old superstars and dozens of success stories, what hope do I have? With unprecedented heights and endless possibilities, expectations are considerably higher than ever before.
Hustle culture is the glamorization of a tainted virtue.
Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls, Amy Santiago from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Spencer Hastings from Pretty Little Liars are all three fictional examples of hardworking women who sacrificed their well-being for the sake of success. Our tendency to normalize overworking is well-documented both on and offscreen.
We become vulnerable to the expectations around us and succumb to societal pressure. This situation can be tricky, so here are five essential reminders I use to help navigate the pressures of hustle culture.
1. Quality over quantity
Biting off more than you can chew is one of the biggest mistakes people make. It’s definitely exciting to think about all the opportunities and potential for growth, but overdoing it will only hinder your progress.
It’s important to be more concerned about what you are doing as opposed to how many things you are doing. Although being involved with many initiatives may seem beneficial, it can be quite counterproductive.
So rather than spreading your energies around and putting out half-hearted work, you should focus on a few key initiatives with full commitment.
2. Balance is key
It’s not possible to live a happy and fulfilling life by slaving away for work. There has to be more to your day than just waking up, working, sleeping and repeating. This will only drain your energy and negatively affect your mental health.
There have been countless days where I have been at my desk all day on an empty stomach and then realized the day had gone by as the sun was setting. But this isn’t how one should live; this isn’t right.
The equilibrium of life needs to be maintained. I make sure to schedule social time, family time, independent time and exercise into my schedule. You might even want to take a couple of days off. It’s okay to be easy on yourself.
3. RecogniZe your limitations
The excitement of trying new things and putting ourselves out there is always there for us. But don’t let your enticement get in the way of reality. There will be times when you’re prepared to explore new things, but there are also times when you’re incapable of handling an extra load.
It’s better to realize this before than burn yourself out. Remember to pace yourself. The most valuable advice I’ve learned over the years is to only engage in initiatives I am passionate about.
So don’t invest in everything; be selective. Saying yes to everything that comes along will only prevent you from giving time to a dream opportunity.
4. Discipline yourself
In some cases, there are more factors involved than simply a lack of time. Sometimes, it’s a matter of not knowing how to manage your time. You wake up at noon, scroll through TikTok for a couple of hours, chat with a friend over FaceTime, dine out for dinner and call it a night.
Making time for yourself is great, but there has to be a balance.
Where does the work come in? What time do you set aside for school and other projects? Time management and discipline are two of the most important tools for success. Only those who learn discipline will succeed in this world filled with so many distractions.
This can be achieved by setting goals, practising daily diligence, limiting or removing distractions entirely, and developing new habits and rituals. Reinvent yourself and unlock the apex of your potential.
5. Success isn’t linear
There are some lessons in life that are just hard to swallow. For me, it was learning that life isn’t always uphill.
Whenever we don’t see ourselves improving and going on an upward trajectory, we become stressed and worried. But there will be countless ups and downs along the way. Sometimes it’s just stagnant. The important thing is that you’re always moving forward. A consistent effort to make changes, no matter how small, is progress. Be inspired by your wins and motivated by your losses.
Even though I can never completely escape the feeling of incompetence, these tips have been immensely helpful for me. The beauty of slowing down, taking my time, and prioritizing my mental health has become second nature to me.
Hustle culture is influenced by what goes on around you. So, instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on yourself. From one stressed-out student to another, take comfort in knowing it will all be okay.