As you enter your 20s, you may often hear the phrases, “You’re only young once!” or, “These are our years!” When said, usually by a very convincing and well-intentioned friend, suddenly, the synapses in your brain rewire to do whatever it is you were hesitant to do in the first place.
Perhaps a weekend spent clubbing, a blind date, a spontaneous trip. Whatever it may be, these certain sentiments have manifested into a weight subconsciously planted in the minds of many twenty-somethings.
There’s a certain level of pressure, isn’t there? To make sure it seems like you’re living your life to the fullest, because let’s face it — there now exists an unspoken criteria of what exactly your 20s must consist of; academically, financially, and especially socially.
It’s quite absurd that so many of us were expected to choose a lifelong career path at the ripe age of 18 years old. And now that we’ve done a bit of growing, we are expected to follow through. It’s the equivalent of having seven tequila shots the night before, waking up a day older and wiser, and realizing that it was a horrible, horrible decision.
Though, I acknowledge there are a lucky few who knew exactly what they wanted to do from the get-go and to those, I applaud you (for the tequila, not the life-altering career choice). However, to those lost or floating, or option c, doing what their parents told them to do, it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end if you change your major, take another year of school, or take a year off after that. Being in your 20s, and therefore an adult, doesn’t equate to knowing precisely what you want to do with your life. In fact, your 20s are for not knowing what to do with your life. Screwing up is what it’s all about!
On top of trying to find ourselves, we are also expected to fund ourselves. Now, this might seem like the bare minimum, yet when you’re out on King Street paying for a twenty-dollar cocktail, it doesn’t feel quite so minimal.
It’s a tough subject to talk about especially as I’m sure we all come from different financial backgrounds. But I’m sure we can all agree on one thing — life is expensive! If you want to live on your own, if you want your own car, if you want a night out clubbing, a brunch date with your girlfriends, a sweet treat after every class — that all costs money.
This is the money we are expected to have casually. And unless you’re a nepo baby, I’m sure you, too, are twitching your eye as you tap your card on that expensive sweet treat. Remember, you can be a broke university student — we just gotta laugh about it (or else we’ll cry).
Finally, there’s the greatest pressure of all: the expectation to have a bountiful social life. Have a good amount of friends, go out, meet new people, kiss strangers, and be spontaneous! It’s tempting, I know, to associate fun in your 20s with candid digital camera photos, lousy makeouts with strangers, and the number of friends featured in your Instagram feed — and trust me, the appeal at times does indeed deliver.
Let me establish, however, that the definition of fun in your 20s differs for each individual. Sometimes, it even changes.
This notion, that life is like a fleeting train, is not a healthy one for our young brains. Missing out on one night out is not a matter of life or death. So, do what you want.
Being in your 20s used to feel like a promise of endless possibilities. Suddenly, the endless possibilities seem too great of a feat and the expectations too great of a burden. Each passing year feels like a ticking countdown in the back of our minds. It feels like there is so much to do and so little time.
I think we as a society have lost the real meaning of “these are our years.” We must remember that these years are ours, and we do, in fact, have years.
In other words, you have time. You might only be young once, but don’t let that pressure you into living a lifestyle you don’t truly want.
Alas, my point is this: stay in, go out, read a book, binge your favourite show, or dance on the tabletops because these are, in fact, your years!