Something strange has happened to me recently. When I looked in the mirror, I saw something different. When did I become an adult? The face I had grown so accustomed to had changed. I realized I wasn’t some seventeen-year-old girl anymore; I was a woman.Â
I had dreamed about being 20 ever since I could remember and now that I’m here, I’ve realized that I was right for wishing to grow up. Whenever I brought up my anticipation of aging, I would get a similar response from mostly all older women. I was always told not to be in such a rush as I would regret it.Â
I always found their reply odd because, at the same time, I was looking at them, and all I saw were strong, wise and radiant women who had garnered so much respect from everyone around them. To me, with the example of the women around me, aging didn’t seem as bad and scary as everyone said.Â
This made me think, are we scared of aging and getting older because that is how we truly feel or because everyone tells us to?Â
The fear of aging isn’t a new concept, although it has been extremely amplified by social media, the youth obsession has been around since ancient times.
According to Harper’s Bazaar, Cleopatra took daily baths filled with donkey milk to slow the look of aging and women in the Elizabethan era would put raw meat on their faces because they believed it would help with wrinkles.
Nowadays, social media influencers advise taping your face before you sleep, staying out of the sun, and smiling less to prevent wrinkles. Imagine depriving yourself of smiling because of a fear of how you’ll look in the future!
Celebrities tend to pave the way and become a benchmark for the average woman. What a lot of people don’t understand and will probably never understand is the sheer amount of procedures, skincare, makeup, and editing software celebrities have access to. In 2022, the U.S. anti-aging market was estimated to be worth $38.9 billion.
I theorize that the bigger issue is how women are perceived in general. A woman’s appearance is equated to her worth, and with age, the way women are conventionally supposed to look declines. As a way for women to reclaim their power, they throw themselves into the whirlwind of the youth-obsessed culture.Â
A study conducted by Dympna Tuohy and Adeline Cooney about the experiences of older women with aging and health found that women believe there is a bias against older women.Â
“Co-researchers also spoke of not feeling valued, believing that there is a general negative or even ageist societal attitude toward aging older women,” the paper says. Â
I can’t speak on the experiences of older women, but I hope when I do begin to visibly age, I can embrace it. Wrinkles and grey hair show that you have lived. You’ve smiled and cried, you have heard good stories, and lived a life!Â
There isn’t anything wrong about doing things to make you feel better about your appearance but it shouldn’t come at the expense of experiencing the privilege that is aging.Â
The culture I’ve been raised around, Chechen Culture, puts an extremely high emphasis on how older people are treated. Older folks are respected and welcomed; they become heads of families, and they have freedom and independence. They can even get away with being odd and saying even odder things.Â
People gather to listen to the knowledge and stories they have accumulated throughout their lives. They are living proof that looking older doesn’t mean you can’t feel youthful; the only difference is you have the privilege of truly being yourself.Â
I cannot wait to grow older.Â