Ever since I was a kid, I was always told to obtain the best grades in school.
Every day, I would remember going to school feeling pressured, especially on the day of a test. I needed to achieve that A, or that A+, simply because I needed to impress my parents.
I never understood why I would always aim high, though. But when I asked my parents about it, they replied, “You have to go to a good university, study a prestigious program, graduate, and find a well-paying job.”
I then came to the conclusion that perhaps earning high marks will set me up for success.
When I entered high school, I was interested in learning about global issues. So, I thought that I should pursue history or politics.
However, my parents really didn’t accept the idea.
“What can you do with that degree specifically? You can’t find a job,” they would tell me.
But I continued to pursue my own interests. I asked myself: What am I truly passionate about? And decided that it was best for me to explore.
I first decided to go to makeup school because I was interested in cosmetics at the time. After I graduated, I tried to apply for some makeup gigs. But I never got a response — at all.
Then, I decided to pursue a fashion management diploma. Although I graduated with a high GPA, I never actually found a job in fashion.
Slowly, I then asked myself, what is the point of pursuing what I want if I can’t support myself? I felt that I wasted a lot of time and money. So, I decided that perhaps settling for comfort and stability was the best choice I could make at the time.
Knowing this, I decided to give social work a try. I wasn’t passionate about the field per se, but I thought that if I could find a job in social work, I could at least be able to support myself. However, I would come to realize that I would have to switch my program again.
When I enrolled in a business program, I thought choosing stability was the correct way to go. But I later understood I was wrong again. After experiencing a few internships, I realized the corporate world wasn’t my favourite place to be. Instead of being creative, I felt confined in a box — I had to behave, act and present myself in a certain way, which became too draining.
That’s when I realized that wherever I go, there will always be instability.
Even if I decide to pursue a field that is known to be stable, further complications can still arise. And even if I decide to choose a job with high earning potential, I can lose the job at any moment or time.
In the end, I realized that pursuing a more fulfilling field is what I value. I at least could come home feeling accomplished everyday, and I at least would know that I am making somewhat of a difference in my own world.
So, when I look back to my elementary school years, I realize that earning the highest grades is not the best reflection of success. Instead, success to me is defined by how fulfilled I feel by my work. And in order to feel fulfilled, I realized that I had to continue being passionate and work towards my own interests.
I realized how passion has guided me throughout my elementary school years. When I felt sad, I would always listen to the songs that I liked. They somehow motivated me and allowed me to realize that there was a world outside of school. And when I was bullied by others, I would always partake in my favourite activities or movies. Or, during the rough times of high school, I would decide to learn languages just because I was passionate about it.
Nowadays, I realize that I coped with difficult life experiences through passion. So why should I give up my interests just for a job?
Perhaps passion is the answer. And perhaps passion is what will lead to stability.