1. “Did you get hazed?”
Okay, first of all that’s actually a very serious issue and I’m not sure why you just met us and lead with, “are you essentially the victim of a crime?” Panehellenic, each national chapter’s office and individuals take this very seriously. Every year we’re required to participate in anti-hazing awareness week in order to learn more about how to appropriately handle any situation that could come. When we went through recruitment we’re also required to sign a document that says we will not allow ourselves to be hazed and that if we witness it, we are required to report it. We aren’t messing around. And also, no absolutely not. Not everything you see in Lifetime movies is true. Real sisters treat each other with respect and dignity….you know, like sisters. That’s the whole point.
2. “So you pay for your friends?”
Yup, you caught us. After years of insisting that our dues go towards things like booking venues and DJ’s for formals/socials, budgeting for philanthropy fundraisers, sisterhood retreats, and of course all the t-shirts, we’re going to tell you the big secret. That each year we’re actually individually cutting each woman in our national organization a small check to act friendly towards us in public.
3. “Do you like everyone in your chapter?”
What kind of question is this? We’re a family, of course we like them all. Sometimes not all of them at the same time. We know it’s hard to imagine that you can love and care for people and still occassionally experience drama. If only their were other contexts in life where you could care for people but not always get along…like a biological family or something, or an independent group of friends. But we know, nothing could have prepared you to understand this answer.
4. “Why didn’t you join [instert a different sorority here]?”
Are you this concerned about your own image? If you are, you should probably stop asking disrespectful questions to people that you don’t really know. Any of us can happyily tell you why we did join our chapter. We can tell you about the connections we felt to other sisters, to the mission, to the philanthropies. But what we won’t or can’t do is justify exactly why we might not have felt like that elsewhere. Many of us have friends in different sororities, but that organization still wasn’t a right fit. That’s the way it is, and it’s pretty great. Life’s better in letters because you’re a part of something bigger than yourself that you believe in, not for any other reason.
5. “Wow, I didn’t picture you as the type to join a sorority.”
It can be really hard to understand that young women are complete humans with varied interests! We get it! How could we possibly get good grades, be politically active, believe that Black Lives Matter, love punk rock, raise money for charities and have really nice hair for recruitment? It doesn’t make any sense. Well, I mean if you’re a misogynist it makes sense. Next time you find yourself with the urge to say this to someone, stop and think to yourself “why do I feel like women joining organizations for women that are safe and encourage friendships in a world where women are taught to hate themselves and each other such a bad thing?” We can wait on your answer.