Dear Andi,
My best friend has been by my side for 7 years, but lately I’ve realized that she’s not the friend she used to be. It seems like the friendship is one-sided and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end the friendship but I feel like I need to. What should I do?
– Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
You always, always need to go with your gut. If you are feeling like your needs are not being met in any type of relationship, you need out of that relationship. You deserve to be happy and to feel the love, dedication, and companionship that you offer your friends for yourself.
I think we have all been through things in life that make us realize who our true friends are and it is easy to cut off the bad fruit, but we are also unfortunately faced with tough decisions like this that could hurt us if we do what is best. I believe that it is better for you to feel the temporary pain that a lost friend will cause you than for you to feel unappreciated, unloved, and unfulfilled in your relationships.
If and when you decide to end the relationship, make sure to be open and honest, avoiding accusatory words or name-calling. End things in a way that you were able to express yourself in a clear, adult manner, and will have no regrets about years down the line. If your friend does not allow you to express yourself and things blow up into a fight, write them a note so that you can give them space to calm down and allow yourself the time and platform to say what you need to say – just don’t let writing a note make you chicken out of a face-to-face conversation.
Just keep in mind that this is your life and you deserve to be happy. Most of the time, cutting people off makes them realize what they’re missing out on, and if your friend values you the way you value them, they’ll be back in no time. If she never comes around then remember that it is possible and realistic to outgrow friendships – don’t keep waiting for her to come around when that might not ever happen.
I wish you all the best.
HCXO,
Andi
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