To all the college-aged men and women affected by our dating culture, I am truly sorry. It is hard growing up in a generation where a lot of men and women are afraid of commitment.
As a college female, I have witnessed my friends, and even myself, get hurt by people who don’t want to give commit. And I am tired. Tired of being hurt because someone doesn’t want the same things I do. Tired of seeing my friends get hurt because someone played them. And, most importantly, I am tired of seeing this happen.
As we go into the adult world, there are actions that we need to leave behind as we grow older. We can’t have a group of men and women that are afraid of commitment because that will affect the greater whole. To have people who don’t like to commit, those people will go and hurt the people that actually want a relationship and want to eventually get married in the future.
Â
1. The talking phase does not mean commitment.
I cannot stress this enough. The “talking” phase leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To say that you’re talking to someone means commitment doesn’t make sense. Men and women should be able to say, “I like you and you like me. There’s no one else.” There shouldn’t be any games played. There is no point to further a relationship if they can’t even put a title on you which brings me to point #2.
2. If he or she can’t put a label on you, you are not in a relationship.
We are all reaching the age where it shouldn’t be an issue to say that you are in a relationship. I say this about men and women because men are not the only people that play games. Women do it too. Chances are if he or she can’t claim a label, they never saw a future with you anyway.
3. If you found out someone has played you or that they are in a relationship, it is time to move on.
I’m not going to lie to you. I have dealt with men who have played me and I have wanted to know why they would do that. As I have matured, I realized the problem was never me; it was them. And, if you are reading this, you will reach the point that you realize that too.
4. Stop having people on the sidelines if the person you care about isn’t paying attention to you especially if you two are a couple.
This annoys me. I am a huge proponent of commitment. And to see people I know have people on the side makes me mad. The person you are in a relationship with doesn’t know what you are doing, so you are hurting your relationship. If you want to be in a relationship, you have to be all in and monogamous. Not halfway and polygamous.
5. Know what you want going into a relationship.
For me, I know I don’t want to have a sexual relationship before marriage. It is part of my religion and my choice. That’s what I want to do and I am going to continue with that mindset until I get married. You should be able to clearly state what you want out of a relationship.
Â
Please take this call to action seriously. I am tired of men and women getting hurt. I am tired of being hurt. We can’t go on like this anymore. Do this for the sake of all future relationships, and eventually for future marriages.
Â