Many times I have been told I get attached or too close to the person I am “talking to” before it gets too serious. I’ve also been told some of my best qualities are that I have a kind soul and a big heart; meaning, when I like something, I go for it. Not obsessively, of course, but I invest time in things I like. Whether this is the newest fall fashion, a music group, boys or even a course I’m taking in school. If I like it, I’m certain I like it enough to put time into it. Affection is not attachment.
When did feeling something become a bad thing? When I “talk to” a guy, I usually don’t talk to someone else at the same time. Maybe this isn’t the norm for collegiettes today, but I’m a little old fashioned. And like I said, I like to invest time before I make a serious decision. I’m picky and I would rather invest time in something that will work out for at least a little bit of time. This worked for high school but the more and more I experience college, this seems to be the complete opposite. Maybe I watched too many romantic movies growing up where the guy always got the girl. I know you’ve all seen A Cinderella Story or The Notebook. Or even an 80s classic. Tell me that isn’t cute. Tell me that’s not what you would want if it happened to you. Or even Disney movies as a kid taught me that there is always someone for everybody. Cinderella found her Prince Charming and she was a mere servant.
Today in college, there are hookups on hookups and I find that no one wants to become emotionally attached to anything except their cat. People even “talk to” other people while looking for something better. Frankly, that’s rude. And it hasn’t happened just once. Over and over again, being told you’re not good enough sucks. The other person may not say this directly, however, hearing, “it’s not working,” “it’s not you, it’s me” or any other line and then seeing them two days later with someone else puts a damper on your self esteem. And, most of the relationships I do see are ones that are either unhealthy to the point of obsession or they started in high school when people wanted relationships.
Since when are relationships such a bad thing? For one, it’s a person to seek refuge in when everything just isn’t working out. The trust in a relationship that builds is something that can’t even be built between two best friends; it’s more intimate, not just in a sexual manner. Not too long ago was supposed to be my grandparents’ 57th wedding anniversary. The trust they had in each other was a beautiful thing until my Pop-Pop passed a few years ago. I know he’s rolling in his grave at the way people treat relationships and one another romantically. It sucks that people cannot think of a relationship in this way or let alone dating. I’m not sure when the last time myself or another friend went on an actual date. Most of it includes “hanging out” and that awkward “talking” period before getting into a relationship.
Maybe I’m too hopeful for people to see my point of view. Right now, that’s all I can do and keep being positive. I’ll keep dreaming, I’ll keep going. I know, one day, I’ll find a man that sees this the same way. Maybe I’ll be a crazy cat lady. Who knows? Scratch that, I dislike cats. Dog lady? Or maybe I’ll find my Prince Charming. Even if you don’t see it the same, that’s okay too. We all work relationships differently and that’s why we all like different people. There’s someone for everyone; for me, the time just isn’t now.