Attention collegiettes of the world: I sympathize with you. I really do. Like the vast majority of the population, I adore cats. And bunnies. I even like mice (read: not rats. I don’t love rats). Keeping this in mind, I’m telling you as a fellow collegiette that dressing up as these friendly domesticated creatures for Halloween year after year is getting a little trite.
I understand your plight: you want to look as cute as possible for as little as possible. But I want you to look beyond the eyeliner-whiskers. Look beyond the leggings and the 99-cent furry ears. Let these 6 inexpensive Halloween costumes into your life and into your closet.
1. Hamburglar
Live the dream as one of McDonald’s mascots who steals hamburgers for a living. Pair a striped shirt-dress with a black cape (i.e. bath towel or scrap fabric), some red winter gloves, and a felt mask. You can make the necktie out of red poster board with foam hamburgers glued on. Pop on a black hat and some high black boots and you’re ready to roll. Bonus points if you use an actual hamburger (or three – treat yourself).
2. Scarecrow
If you’re burning with the utmost desire to put eyeliner on your face but want to ditch the cat trope, the Scarecrow is your best bet. All you need is a straw hat, your favorite flannel, and two braids. If you have overalls, now is the time to break them out. Don’t forget the eyeliner.
3. Silent Film Star
Not only is this costume easily assembled and very ~*fetch*~, but it also justifies not talking to anyone all night for the sake of “staying in character” (if you’re into that sort of thing). All you need is a black dress (preferably drop-waist à la Gatsby), black tights, and a wide lace headband. If you’re looking to go all-out, pick up some black hair spray and white face paint. Make sure to carry around a sign with a pretentious French sentence to make people feel bad about their lack of bilingualism.
4. Helga Pataki
Relive the glory days of ‘90’s Nickelodeon cartoons by dressing up as our favorite antagonistic yet emotionally intricate fourth grader, Helga Pataki. Wear a pink dress underneath a white t-shirt, make two high pigtails, pin a lopsided bow to the top of your head, and BAM. Insta-Helga. Under the assumption that you don’t have a unibrow, take some more eyeliner (*sigh*) and pencil one on.
5. Dora
Nickelodeon is really nailing it in its supply of child cartoon characters for the collegiette’s festivities. The key elements to complete Dora are orange shorts, a pink t-shirt (or crop top if you want to be #risqué), and a brown bob. This costume also requires a conversational periwinkle backpack and a singing map. Again, make spectators and friends feel uncomfortable or inferior as you shout short Spanish phrases at them.
6. DumbleDora
That’s right. Take it one step further by keeping your Dora costume and investing in the longest, most regal and sagacious-looking beard you can find for under ten dollars. Break the gender binary this Halloween while saying things like “winguardium lluviosa*” at your friends.
*Literally means: “winguardium rainy”. Shoutout to Google Translate for making this Spanish-Harry Potter pun possible.
BONUS: If you have the time, drive, and materials, here’s a tutorial for a wildly fantastic piñata costume.