So why don’t we date? I am still undecided on my own opinions on whether or not this new order of sex before dates is better or worse than the reverse. But, I’ll put this debate of ethics on the back burner while I contemplate how the flip came about to begin with. One theory I have is based on the feminist movement.
Over the last couple of decades, women have been trying so hard to prove their equality in the business world, in school, on social issues, in politics… the list is endless. Anywhere that men used to dominate the scene, women are starting to question and push their way in there. Mainly because they deserve it, and also a little because feminists are pushy. Men couldn’t help but see this and are naturally using it to their advantage. It’s a free pass to back out of chivalrous acts that are, in truth, based on demeaning views of the role of a woman. But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves by giving men too much credit for upholding feminist values; the reason for men becoming laxed in the romance department may be an enigma, but it sure as hell isn’t out of concern for offending women.
Many men are easing up on the chivalry because they can. But of course, it is a cycle, and it’s not all the guys’ fault. I have had guy friends tell me that girls have refused a drink. This can happen for one of two reasons. One, this girl is a feminist and believes that she can buy her own drink. Or two, this girl is skeptical, maybe even cynical, and because boys are so rarely chivalrous anymore, she will assume the offer is a lame attempt to charm her into agreeing to sleep over. Unfortunately, this most likely is only furthering the possibility that one day men may never buy another girl a drink again. However, we are going on two generations since the feminist movement. Things that were once fought for, we take for granted. So if girls can do anything boys can do, why should they get anything more than boys? Why should we be picked up and taken out to dinner when we can easily drive ourselves and afford to split the bill? And why should women wait around for boys to ask them out? Maybe guys are just waiting on girls to ask them. Should we actually take this as a compliment that the feminist movement is complete?
Don’t worry I’m kidding. These boys sure do have a lot of growing up to do, but maybe there is a stronger correlation between the growing empowerment of women, and chivalry dying. Women have always been accused for not knowing what we want… did women’s liberation kill chivalry? Can we really blame the men? Some women do still like to be “provided for,” and maybe even expect it. Some men do look forward to taking care of these women. One thing is for sure, it should no longer be assumed that every guy will do so. Chivalry is not the cultural norm anymore. And based on what women have accomplished, why should it be?