Carrie DiGregorio here, reporting live for Her Campus Tulane. I’m covering a hard hitting topic and that is the life and times of THE one THE only Corinne Watson. Some may know her as the newly crowned homecoming queen, some may know her as hot TEMS lesbian, but I know her as the person who poops in the same bathroom as me. Here is the transcript of our interview straight from our mouths onto my keyboard and to your screen. It’s like we are basically in your home… but in a way that does not warrant a crime alert e-mail.
Carrie: Hello, I’m Carrie DiGregorio. You may know me from my work with Cat Mafia Comedy, Tulane’s best and only sketch comedy group. You may also know me from literally living in the same home as you. Anyway what’s your name?
Corinne: First name Corinne that is with one R and two Ns GET IT RIGHT PLEASE. Middle name Swagü with an umlaut over the u, and last name Watson.
Carrie: Major?
Corinne: Public health and ¡Spanish!
Carrie: Instagram?
Corinne: @rinnney that is with 3 n’s just to make sure you wrote that down correctly.
Carrie: I wrote it down correctly can you lay off? ALSO FOR ALL MY READERS OUT THERE MY INSTAGRAM is @legendcarrie. Just to let you know.
Corinne: Are you kidding?
Carrie: No! My instagram is important too ok??? Anywayz what are your pronouns?
Corinne: She/her/hers or they/them/theirs either is cool with me.
Carrie: Ok so let’s get to the meat of the interview. I hear you are an EMT.
Corinne: That is correct.
Carrie: Can you look at this black spot on my foot? Should I be worried? It kinda hurts but not badly enough for me to do something about it?
Corinne: *looks at Carrie’s foot* I think it was a cut, also now it’s kind of green. But I think it’ll be fine. I’m acting as an independent EMT PLZ DONT SUE ME. But yeah rub some dirt in it.
Carrie: You really think it’ll be fine?
Corinne: Yeah can we move on?
Carrie: Yes, yes, sorry. Ok so what is your favorite part about living with me?
Corinne: I thought this interview was about me?
Carrie: I’M ASKING THE QUESTIONS CORINNE!! NOT YOU!!
Corinne: Fine… fine… um I like the Bathroom Guest Book we have. But also I think we have a good balance between emotional supporting each other and having fun!
Carrie: Ily. So what is your favorite snack?
Corinne: CHEEZ-ITS. Please write that in all caps
Carrie: What TV show should every Tulane student watch?
Corinne: How to Get Away With Murder but tbh I haven’t watched the latest season so maybe not actually?
Carrie: Are you admitting that you are a fraud?
Corinne: What? No? Are you kidding?
Carrie: Anyway moving on. What is your favorite Tulane memory?
Corinne: Hmm well it was this day at the Fly this Summer that I would describe as the 2nd best day of my life. Every important person in my life was there except you, as in Carrie just to clarify for all you readers out there, and it was everything I needed. Also THERE WERE NO FRESHMEN THERE ROLL WAVE.
Carrie: This next question comes from Margaret Stolte. What was your favorite sandwich at the Capital One deck at the Homecoming Game?
Corinne: Well definitely not the one that her dad recommended. Sorry Steve Stolte I just didn’t like all the olives. But I guess I don’t really have one. They were all pretty good.
Carrie: That’s a cop out answer.
Corinne: Yes and??
Carrie: Nothing, I just wanted to point that out. Next question, what was your favorite part of homecoming?
Corinne: I think having time when all my friends were forced to hang out together. I live for obligation and forced friendships. 2nd favorite part was all the great photos I got out of it.
Carrie: What was the first thought you had when you heard you won Homecoming Queen?
Corinne: Well at first I couldn’t really hear anything, but then when I saw that enormous tiara I was really worried it would smush my ears when I put it on.
Carrie: What do you want to name Greg Feiling’s child?
Corinne: Margarine, Marge for short.
Carrie: What advice would you give to new incoming freshmen?
Corinne: Hmmm, I think it’s important to disregard prior conceptions of normalcy and I know it sounds cliché but just think about who you really are away from all those preconceived notions from high school and just do you.
Carrie: That’s deep, damn. Next question what’s your favorite thing to buy from Costco?
Corinne: Definitely the 4.5 pounds of fruit snack, but the 11 pounds of sweet potatoes is a close 2nd. Can you ask me what the theme song for Homecoming 2016 was?
Carrie: That’s not on my list of questions.
Corinne: Yeah but can you just ask it? Nevermind I’ll just tell you its Cool by LE YOUTH but the DJ Sliink remix.
Carrie: Can i get back to my questions now?
Corinne: Yes. You can. Actually can you ask me which boob is bigger than the other?
Carrie: I’m absolutely not going to do that.
Corinne: CARRIE PLEASE.
Carrie: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT
Corinne: THE LEFT ONE IS BIGGER.
Carrie: I’m done. This interview is over.
Corinne: Love you.
Carrie: Love you too.