Name: Noah Andre’ Vitus Netzhammer
Year: Junior
Major: Marketing & Management
Astrological Sign: Virgo
Relationship Status: Single
Speaking of horoscopes, does your sign match your personality?
100%, get ready for this:
“Virgos are often put down badly by many astrologers and written up as being fussy and narrow-minded. But when a Virgo shines, there is practically no sign to match their inner light. An in-tune Virgo is a treat to meet.”
That’s all me. Except I’m not narrow-minded, I’m just real. I always eat Rainbow Twizzlers because I support diversity.
Sounds like you’ve got quite the range of interests. What do you do when you’re not in class?
All I do with my life is sit in my chair while watching reality tv and eating crab-flavored fish protein; but don’t worry because I still get my exercise in by kicking my legs up and down in the air whenever I’m feeling a lil out of shape.
Does your lucky lady have to have similar interests?
I’m looking for a dime that’s top of the line, cute face, slim waist with a big behind… or a nice Catholic girl that wants to settle down with me, get married and raise our 4 kids together. The latter is preferable, but I don’t judge.
Favorite pick up line that you’ve used/always wanted to use:
I’ve always wanted to just roll up to a group of people and quote One Direction. “Put your hands up cuz it’s a stand up! I won’t be leavin til I finish stealing every piece of your heart.”
However, my old reliable is just “Hey girl, lemme talk to you (in my best J.Biebs Canadian accent). You lookin saucy like a sausage.”
Your knowledge of pop culture is pretty impressive; if you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why?
It’s between my 5 role models (Diddy, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, my mama, and Jesus); so between those choices, I’d obviously go with Simon Cowell. I’d get to be a judge on X Factor by day and buddies with One Direction by night. Hey now, Hey now, this is what dreams are made of.
Lastly, any special talents we should know about?
I can split, hustle, and boogie all at the same time. Only problem is that I’m like sore for the next two weeks after, but I gotta do me.