Toxic Relationships on the Screen That We Ignored

Television shows were often a significant part of my middle and high school world. Going from show to show, I constantly fell in love with characters living their lives in what seemed like different worlds. A majority of my favorite shows featured romantic relationships between characters, and some grew to become iconic within pop culture. A few years ago, my naïve self would believe that these relationships were flawless representations of what romance should look like. Upon further reflection and some re-watching of some favorites, the flaws and red flags within a few connections from my favorite shows became more apparent to me. I also believe some friendships I used to adore are very turbulent, but here are a few romantic relationships from the screen that I think should be looked into further. There will likely be quite a few spoilers below, so proceed cautiously. 

Aria and Ezra  —  Pretty Little Liars 

Middle school me was a die-hard Pretty Little Liars fan, excitedly waiting to keep up with the girls and the mysterious “A” every Thursday night. Throughout the show’s run, almost all of the show’s main characters became involved in numerous romantic relationships, some more stable than others. However, the relationship that began between Aria (a 16-year-old high school student) and Ezra (her high school English teacher) threw up a crazy about of red flags. The show often defended the relationship by mentioning that Aria had initially lied about her age to Ezra. Nevertheless, the relationship should have stopped as soon as he discovered the truth. From season one and on, when Aria’s friends and family learned about this relationship, there was initially some pushback stemming mainly from her parents. Still, after a few episodes, the unhealthy nature of the relationship became irrelevant. 

Meredith and Derek — Grey’s Anatomy 

The “MerDer” relationship grew into the love story at the backbone of the medical drama show Grey’s Anatomy. When I first watched their story develop within the show, I thought their relationship was perfect, but upon some reevaluation, numerous aspects of their relationship showed levels of toxicity. For me, this became noticeable as soon as Derek’s ex-wife Addison came to town. I love a good love triangle, but red flags begin to appear throughout Derek’s treatment of both Addison and Meredith in the early seasons. From when Derek started to slut-shame Meredith for moving on after their breakup to him not valuing Meredith’s professional career as much as his in the later seasons, their “perfect” relationship seemed to have some holes in it.

Tristan and Miles — Degrassi

The Canadian television drama Degrassi had numerous jaw-dropping storylines and dramatic relationships that they tackled head-on. However, the on-and-off relationship between Tristan and Miles began in season fourteen. Although they seemed to have a picture-perfect start, jealousy created multiple points of contention in their relationship. Tristan often made slut-shaming comments toward the girls that Miles was close to, regardless of whether they had any romantic history. Not to mention, Tristan often directed biphobic comments toward Miles. One of which occurred during a class presidential debate between the two characters where Tristan accused Miles of not being a suitable candidate since “he can’t choose between boys and girls.” I found it unfortunate that their relationship continued on and off for three more seasons, especially since the toxic comments and moments failed to stop.

Dean and Rory — Gilmore Girls 

Growing up, I was a HUGE Gilmore Girls fan, and I really liked Rory’s character before the boat heist moment. 

However, I knew that Dean and Rory’s relationship from season one rubbed me the wrong way from the beginning. Although they had adorable chemistry throughout the first season, we continued to see Dean as an overprotective and jealous type, especially when other guys were around Rory. On the other hand, Rory continuously lied to Dean while also playing with his emotions, regardless of whether she was aware. Their romantic relationship ended with them sleeping together while Dean was married to someone else, which for me, ended any possibility of liking this pairing. Through re-watching the series, I have grown to not idolize Rory’s character in general, but her first relationship with Dean kept throwing up red flags in my eyes.

Peyton and Lucas — One Tree Hill 

The on-and-off relationship between Peyton and Lucas on One Tree Hill became my least favorite in the series rather quickly. I’ll admit that they seemed to have great chemistry within the first season, but a large part of their relationship involved lying and fighting with each other. A majority of the relationship lies on the fact that Lucas cheated on Brooke with Peyton in order for them to be together, and they portrayed this a being a redeeming quality of their relationship. In many ways, Peyton continuously betrayed her relationship with the person she considered her best friend over and over again. I love a good love triangle moment. However, this instance felt extraordinarily hard to watch time and time again. 

I could go on and on about how I feel about the relationships from my favorite television shows, but these are a few that left me disappointed. I understand that even the “bad” relationships contribute to a significant part of the show’s storyline. However, these were a few that I believe are unnecessarily romanticized. 

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