What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

This is a fun and imaginative question for a kindergartner. Kindergartners imagine being a firefighter, astronaut (this was my one line in a musical theater camp), pop singer, author, and athlete. As a little kid, you see no complications in growing up and having a career. Now, fast forward thirteen years later. You’re entering a new race that will hopefully jumpstart your career. In high school, I told everyone that I was going to be an architect. It made sense to me. I love to draw, design, and stare at houses all day long. I did all the right things: architecture courses, summer programs, and internships to confirm that architecture was the right path.

After a month at college, I realized I wasn’t in the right program. I wanted to transfer into a stronger program with an emphasis on study abroad and career opportunities. I planned to spend my winter break writing essays and editing my portfolio for architecture.

Fast forward to winter break, I had just finished editing my portfolio pictures in Photoshop. I confirmed letters of recommendations and was proof-reading my essays. It was on New Year’s Eve, around 10PM, right before the confetti and the Countdown, that I reflected on my personal goals. I realized I had been ignoring a tiny part of me that didn’t want to pursue architecture. I love to draw, but drawing straight lines with rulers and grids? I also discovered that I didn’t have the drive to learn how to be patient when cutting tiny pieces of chipboard. Architecture is most definitely an interest, but not career-wise.

After a pep talk from perplexed yet understanding Mom and Dad, I finally was able to breathe again. It was refreshing to start thinking about what I really wanted to explore: marketing and entrepreneurship, which is one of the reasons why I started this blog. I love brands, advertisements, and graphic design. I could honestly just live in Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop (I’m getting a lot better with practice!). And even if this isn’t what I end up doing, at least I know marketing is a very flexible field.

Between relationships, schoolwork (I had never taken an Econ or Stat class), transfer applications, job searching, and interviews, talking to someone can really help, especially when you’re away at college. I made great use of some meditation classes and therapy sessions. I learned that dealing with anxiety is perfectly normal and this period of anxiety helped shape the person that I am today.