You know the drill. You’re at your friend’s apartment, or maybe you’re at a club. The people around you have one thing on their mind, but you’d rather pass. You may feel like everyone in the world is staring at you – their eyes pressuring you and saying more than their words. You might even feel like a prude for turning it down, but alcohol isn’t for everybody. To take a shot or not is a choice only you can make.
When I first started college, I knew I wasn’t a drinker. But as I kept turning down opportunities to drink, I couldn’t help but feel left out. Little by little, alcohol began creeping into the center of focus for my hangouts with friends. I was left behind while my peers had the time of their lives. But who’s to say I couldn’t have the time of my life sober, too?
The world is meant to be experienced at full force, with all the energy and passion you have. I promise you, your best self isn’t under the influence of alcohol. Your reasons for being sober can be completely different from one person to another (like age, religion, or academics), but what doesn’t change is how good sticking by your values feels. You’re not alone in this – there are so many ways to thrive sober when your friends are sipping away.
Did Someone Say ‘Sober Movie Night?’
Not every night has to be a night on the town. Your friends should be people who genuinely listen and take you seriously, so they should consider your opinion in deciding what to do! Activities like a fun movie night (my vote is ‘Mamma Mia!’), a day out shopping, bowling, hiking, or even painting, can all be done without alcohol. Sports are infinitely more fun when you can control all your limbs. Practically anything can be done without alcohol. You may find your activities even more enjoyable without worrying about whether you’ve reached your limit, or who will be the “D.D.”.
Bring to light how your friends may need a day of rest and recovery, and maybe they’ll listen. However if it seems that drinking is all your friends will ever want to do, maybe consider finding new friends.
The Art of Setting Boundaries… and Sticking to Them
You know yourself better than anyone – meaning you know your limits too. If you don’t drink because you know you’ll feel awful in the morning, stick to it. If you don’t drink because you have a paper due at midnight, stick to it. Your personal boundaries were set for a reason. While peer pressure is real, your own strength is, too. You can always decline a drink, even if nobody around you wants you to.
There’s Always Water…
Although water may be a bit plain when the world around you is taking shots, you should consider carrying an alternative beverage when you’re around alcohol. This could be your favorite soda or sparkling water on nights out. Also, some mocktails out there taste pretty damn good. The simple act of holding a beverage of some sort can help you blend in amongst a crowd of drinkers. While staying sober is something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, sometimes it’s easier to blend in and avoid any potential questions about your drinking habits.
Find Your People
I’m not saying let go of your drinker gals entirely, but there’s always room for new friends. Finding like-minded people can reinforce your sobriety in the best ways. You don’t have to find fulfillment in wellness alone. Check out any campus resources or clubs around sobriety, you never know who’s going to be your next best friend. Some of the best, most meaningful conversations are held fully sober. Without the influence of anything, you can truly see a person as they are, and connect with them on a deeper level.
Having Role Models Never Hurt
You’d be surprised by how many people around you live without “liquid courage.” It could be a neighbor, or an old friend, who inspires you to live alcohol-free. Even celebrities are becoming more outspoken against drinking culture. Zendaya, Tom Holland, Anne Hathaway, and even Nicki Minaj are all unapologetically sober. Having people to look up to when you don’t feel the most confident in your decisions can make all the difference.
There’s nothing good about feeling alone in a group of friends. Making peace and reaffirming your decision to be sober can change that. From drinking mocktails to having non-drinking activities, there are plenty of ways to be fashionably alcohol-free. Go ahead and raise a glass (of water) to staying true to your values!