Last Friday, I took myself to Cheddar’s. I didn’t have a date lined up, didn’t text anyone to meet me, didn’t worry about who’d see me sitting alone at a booth. I wanted comfort food, maybe a honey-butter croissant, and time to just…be. At first, I’ll admit, I felt a little awkward – wondering if people noticed, or if the server pitied me for eating alone. But as the minutes passed, I let the quiet settle in, and my initial self-consciousness melted away. So why does this need a name – “solo date”? Isn’t it just going out for a meal?
Turns out, though, there’s something special about giving yourself the time and space to enjoy a moment alone. More and more, I’m seeing this solo date trend take off on TikTok, with people sharing everything from dimly lit restaurant tables to solo museum trips and even spa days. It’s like the internet’s newest love language: people reveling in their own company and showing the world it’s a thing. Which makes me wonder – why isn’t this normal already?
As researchers Rebecca K. Ratner and Rebecca W. Hamilton put it, people often skip solo activities they’d actually enjoy because “they anticipate social judgment,” even though they would likely find these experiences just as fulfilling – or even more so – than doing them with others.
For starters, there’s an undeniable charm to a solo date that a night out with someone else just doesn’t have. Think about it – on a typical date, there’s the small talk, the balancing act of personalities, the shared decision-making. With a solo date, you’re on your own time. You don’t have to wait for anyone to finish their drink or pretend you’re into their taste in appetizers. You can fully indulge in whatever you feel like doing. I could take an extra five minutes to savor my favorite bites, dive into a book, or just people-watch without worrying about keeping up a conversation.
And that’s where the magic lies. A solo date isn’t a rebellious act; it’s more of a mini-celebration. Without the pressure of social expectations, it’s just you, enjoying exactly what you want, at the pace you want, with zero compromises. And while that might seem simple, it’s actually kind of revolutionary. In a world where we’re constantly told to couple up, to prioritize connection, learning to be alone feels like this gentle, quiet power move.
But why does being on a solo date feel like breaking the rules? We’re conditioned to be social, to fill silences, to make sure we’re never seen as “lonely.” Yet spending time alone doesn’t mean loneliness; it means choosing to enjoy your own company. There’s a peace to it, a sense of control and comfort in just sitting with yourself. More than anything, it’s a reminder that while companionship is lovely, self-companionship is just as valuable.
So, if you haven’t treated yourself to a solo date yet, why not try it? Go to a cozy restaurant, sit with a book or your thoughts, and let yourself enjoy the quiet luxury of time spent with you. The beauty of a solo date isn’t the trendiness or the social media post potential; it’s about that slow, intentional pause we rarely get to take. And it’s about realizing that you’re not just good company for others – you’re pretty great company for yourself, too.