A Look Into The Canon Events Of The College Girl

College is a notoriously trying time for just about any individual, but in a completely biased opinion, as a female, girls fall victim to some pretty gruesome trials and tribulations. Maybe that’s a bit over dramatic, but this generation (or really any generation) has not made it easy on us women to balance an education and social life. So, to alleviate the stigma of “the college girl experience,” I interviewed an assortment of the fine ladies of the University of Connecticut to express either directly or anonymously some life-altering (canon) events since coming to college.

Roommate horror stories:

1. Mackenzie (’28): “Getting locked out of my dorm so my roommate could hook up with a boy.” 

2. Flora (’28): “having a random roommate” 

3. Jackie (’27): “My roommate story starts differently than most because I picked my roommate, and we liked each other at first. In our FaceTime call before becoming roommates, we both stated that we weren’t the neatest people but like to stay organized. What I meant was that I don’t make my bed in the morning or clean my desk after getting ready. You’ll see what she meant. We ended up in the same friend group during freshman year. She would exhibit some odd behaviors, like keeping a week-old pile of cookies from the dining hall on her nightstand and using that as her food source throughout the day because she refused to leave her bed. She didn’t keep up with her laundry often and rarely left the room. She was odd, but bearable. When our friend group had a falling out, this is when the trouble really started. I get it, losing friends can be conflicting, but amidst the drama, I offered to stay friends with her. Even after she called me and my friends “alcoholics” (at this point in our lives, we were maybe going out 3 times a month). I just didn’t want to room with her next year. From us having different living styles, to the drama, to her wanting a more expensive dorm, it just wouldn’t work. After I told her this, she went nonverbal. Like, actually nonverbal. I felt bad during spring break and texted her and asked her to talk things out. No response. I walked back into the room, and she had a FULL ON conversation with my mom. When my mom left, and I asked, “How was your spring break?” she was silent. One time, I walked into the room and said, “We have to talk this out,” and she just snickered and rolled her eyes at me. On top of this, she started turning the lights off all day and closing the blinds. I wanted to study at my desk at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday, and when I turned on the light, she got up and turned it back off. We would each turn them on and off and on and off until finally I gave up and went to the study room. Then, when I was going to sleep the next night at 12 a.m., she finally turned her lamp on to light up the room for the first time in days. This was war. Not to mention, she had stopped showering. We had a bathroom attached to our dorm, so I would be aware if she showered. And I never saw her in there. You could argue that she did when I wasn’t in the room, but her clear body wash bottles from SEPTEMBER were still three-quarters full in April. She never unpacked her clothes from spring break until the end of the year. She also never did her laundry, so the room smelled like dirty socks. She also never left the room, not even to go to class some days. I had no privacy ever. It was honestly eerie because the room was always dead silent, even when we were both in there. So, I had to sit in a dark, smelly, silent room for the rest of my freshman year.” 

4. Anonymous (28’): “my ex-roommate threw a Hydro Flask at my head.” 

Drinking gone wrong?

1. Roma (’28): “getting wasted off of Pink Whitney” 

2. Sam (’27): “my best friend visited from home, and I blacked out and didn’t remember anything. When I woke up, I was in my bed, and she was sleeping in my roommate’s bed.” 

3. Anonymous (’25): “Blacking out for the first time at a frat party and having to be dragged home and tucked into bed. Only to wake up not knowing what happened.” 

4. Natalie (’27): “there was a fight at a frat, and I tried to stop it, and I got cut by a can and my blood got everywhere.” 

5. Emily (’28): “Peeing on the floor of Alumni.” 

6. Anonymous (’25): “After we won the natty’s last year, watching everyone storm the streets and then break the window at the rec.” 

7. Anonymous (’27): “after a night out I woke up to realize I peed the bed.” 

Tales of the college boyfriend/situationship

1. Amelia (’28): “my boyfriend broke up with me because he didn’t like me going out.” 

2. Anonymous (’25): “being told by a man that he isn’t ready for a relationship, and then ends up getting a girlfriend that looks just like you.” 

3. Anonymous (’28): “I was hooking up with a guy for months and his formal was coming up for his club sport and every time I’d bring it up he would dodge the question and the week leading up to the event, he stopped responding to me. Only for me to find out he planned on taking a random girl the whole time, so I blocked him on all platforms.” 

4. Anonymous (’28): “My ex-boyfriend tried to get my cousin, who speaks maybe three times a year, to get us back together when we were no contact. He said no.” 

5. Charlie (’28): “a guy I was hooking up with found my dad’s LinkedIn profile and sent it to me with no context.” 

From nightmare roommates to waking up with the Sunday scaries to the infamous situationship, many events can be a catalyst for a young woman’s journey through university. No one person’s path is the same, but it can help to know they’re all equally embarrassing. I’m sure, in the wise words of my mother, they will become funny stories one day, even if for now they pose as experiences that make our cheeks go red at the memory of them. But hey, who doesn’t have a canon event?

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